Emma May - Episode 4

Krista: [00:00:00] Hello and welcome to the Half Betty Podcast. I'm Krista and Andrea is here with us today, and what's really cool is we have a guest that Andrea knows, and I'm curious why is this particular guest a good fit for Half Betty?

Andrea: I do know this guest, but I don't know her really well, which actually offers up a whole other opportunity to get to know her better. So that's very exciting for both you and I and then the audience. but I have known this guest for, maybe almost a year and a half, two years now.

She doesn't actually live nearby, so, we've connected by phone and then we've actually met one another just a couple of times.

But in that time, what occurred to me. As it does with so many people that we meet, particularly women in their midlives or, roughly around that midlife chapter is, just the extraordinary number of, experiences. stories that [00:01:00] when they share them once again, resonate with this concept that women in their midlives are experiencing so many changes and so many new things.

midlife for women is like a new coming of age. And this next guest, like so many that we're having on our show, has so many. fascinating stories to tell that she's been navigating And I can't wait for our guests to hear her stories and to meet this fantastic person and to feel the energy that she brings. To all the adventures and she might even agree, the misadventures of midlife. and so we are going to meet and, hear from Emma May.

Krista: Emma, thank you for joining us

Welcome Emma.

Andrea: to have you here.

Thank you [00:02:00] so much. Um, we, are, very grateful for all the time that our guests take to join us.

Krista and I we have coined this, this term, which is Building Betty.

Women in their midlives are building things. we're building community. We're building, the infrastructure of our next chapter. We're building businesses, new connections. new ideas, concepts, products, designs, uh, teams. there's such an interesting kind of, reflection on how many women in their midlives are builders.

I think that is such in so many ways, a wonderful introduction to who you are. A builder of, I love the sigh because it feels like it's so appropriate. 'cause it's a lot, being a builder is a lot. And, uh, you and I met. [00:03:00] serendipitously through another person in our lives, about a year and a half ago.

And, you know, I reflect on when we first met and I got off the first call that we ever had just to kind of introduce ourselves. And I thought, gosh, what an inspiration. This person is so incredibly genuine and, Has a beautiful candor that is so compelling in this world where everything is very, produced and crafted to reach people in a certain way.

And when you and I met, I got off the call and I thought, what a real life person. And I was so taken with your energy and your honesty and your approach to things being messy but still showing up for everybody in your life. And now we fast forward a year and a half and,

what I love is that you're joining us here on Half Betty. Also something that we're [00:04:00] building, Building Betty. and Krista and I really would love to hear the story of what you have experienced as you'removing into that second scene.

the catalyst, the things that have. taken your breath away with how they have occurred and where you have taken those.

we would love, if you might take us through, if you can, five words that you believe capture who Emma May is.

Emma: Ooh.

resilient. That's been this year's word,

Krista: Nice.

Emma: uh, a little bit crazy. compassionate, ridiculously ambitious. Curious,

Andrea: Wow.

Emma: how many words am I at?

Andrea: You've got, you can, you can keep going if you'd like to add some more. [00:05:00] I think you're a bit of a rule breaker.

Emma: vain, how about, let's add vain. Vain is one too.

Andrea: all right.

Krista: I love that too.

Andrea: See, there's that honesty. It's so beautiful. I love it. I love it. that really is such a beautiful capture of, the fullness of Emma. moving from there, do you want to think about, one of the things that you recall and, imagine as being part of the catalysts that have occurred for you in the last span of time.

And perhaps if you're okay with it, you'll also share how old you are now, Emma, and, again, thinking about something that may have occurred in the last number of years that you feel, really stands out as being a point of transformation moving forward.

and then just let the story go from there.

Krista: there's more than one, which is also great

Andrea: Yeah, there are many, but they often, they often weave together.

Emma: Yeah, I think [00:06:00] there are a number of them. Um, God, there are these transformational moments, but there's one that stands out for me so I was a young lawyer, got called to the bar when I was like 28 years old.

I had my baby at 29, my first baby and fell into, kind of doing part-time law, Which is eight to five, as we all know. Uh, so full-time, everything else. But yeah, part-time law, and worked with a film company, had another baby. sort of always struggled to find a bit of my footing. In that world. My ex-husband was a very, busy corporate finance lawyer,so goes to work at six, comes home at 10.

Andrea: Mm-hmm.

Emma: So you're kind of on your own with the kids in many ways,

so I was not a single mother by any stretch of the imagination. I had all the financial support that I needed in that space, So let's be really clear about that. Um, but it was a difficult balance. So I ended up quitting [00:07:00] law when my kids were around 10 and I went into real estate. and that was sort of interesting because both my husband and mother were horrified.

Horrified. it was like, you're a lawyer. yes. And the barrier for entry in real estate is really low.

Krista: Oh wow.

Emma: yeah. And I'm giving that up because this is actually what's gonna work better for me.

Andrea: hmm.

Krista: And was it the, the time and the freedom to

Emma: it was the time to flex. Yeah, exactly. It was the flexibility, it was the ability to, pick my kids up from school and not be tied to the billable hour.

And it was about how is it that I can contribute in this world and not necessarily have that tied to this sort of billable hour structure. Because I was the chair of the PTA, I was that yeah. Like brain is going like, we need to stay busy and all these things.

And I am, signing up for everything. so I ended up going into real estate, started my own real estate brokerage [00:08:00] and. And I liked it, but I didn't love it. But an interesting thing happened in 2013, we had a massive flood in Calgary.

like $5 billion worth of damage flooded out the entire downtown.

Core city hall was flooded out. thousands of homes were flooded out. people lost to elevators for six months because you can't actually get elevator fixed quickly if they all break.

And, um, and I lived in the floodplain area and so my house was flooded. I was pretty lucky 'cause it was just like, it was just like 10 feet in the basement. my ex-husband though I have to say he and I were very good on some of this stuff together.

when we had like a project we were like, when Got it. I called him 'cause I got the notice that we needed to be evacuated and he was like, I'm leaving the office, I'm gonna Home Depot. I'm buying three pumps. I'm doing this, I'm doing that. He literally kitted himself out.

So I meanwhile spreading the word. We need to evacuate. We need to do all these things. [00:09:00] Half of my community's eh, nothing's gonna happen. This isn't the problem. Peoplewere in denial that they needed to do this.

Meanwhile, Trevor'smoved all the stuff from our basement upstairs. He's got all these pumps set up, and then it came

but the community came together,

everybody sort of came together, helped each other, cleared stuff out. there was no electricity, no power. It was a really major natural disaster. So the government comes out and says,

we're gonna give you money and we're gonna put caveats on all of your homes that say you live in a flood plane. And, basically destroy the property value for the entire downtown core of Calgary.

Krista: Oh

Andrea: wow.

Emma: And, a client of mine called me and he is like, what the hell is this? And indeed, what the hell is this? So because I am a nerdy lawyer, I go down a rabbit hole and ADHD kicks in, right?

We got a crisis.

Krista: Let's go.

Emma: I'm on board, Let's go.

Krista: Love it.

Emma: Anyway, so,

Krista: [00:10:00] good.

Emma: so I spend three days researching everything about the whole area that we live in, And then oh my God, there's tree ring data that goes back thousands of years that actually demonstrates that this area goes through cycles of wet and drought,

And so from 19, 18, 87 to 1932, Calgary had experienced 10 flooding events that were more significant than what we experienced before. But then we go into this natural cycle in our ecosystem of drought, and we happen to build everything during that period of time.

Andrea: Hmm

Emma: So this is even like, sort of pre sort of the climate warming conversation.

we haven't been here long enough to truly understand. What this is. Then I also discovered that in the Ralph Klein government era, so in 1979 there'd been some concern around this and there had been reports issued that said we should be building infrastructure upstream and that we should be building dams, and [00:11:00] that this wasn't an inevitability that was gonna come to pass and nobody ever did anything about it.

It so nerdy little me gets all of this stuff and then writes this long email just ranting about what the policy position should be, that we should actually be seeking out mitigation. That this is not a problem of individual homeowners. This is actually something that we need to do for everybody,

best interest of the city, is not just paying people money, but how about we just prevent this from happening again. we're too far gone. we're not moving a million people out of a city.

so I write this email

it was also sort of an interesting part of my marriage too. 'cause I, I write this email and um, I read it to my husband in the kitchen and he is like, you shouldn't send that.

Krista: And then you hit send.

Emma: yeah. Government's phoning me, all the [00:12:00] local billionaires are phoning me. I'm getting calls from people what are you doing next? And people I've never met before, but who are all major power players are

Phoning me back. So well, I guess we better do a meeting. So I host a meeting and 1200 people show up to it. It's July. It's hot, it's sweaty, we've got people there who are water experts

We've got university profs. The government then brings their people, and a few of us, were hosting it. I roped in a couple other people to help me with this and I remember there was this one guy who said, you will never be able to fix this problem.

It's unfixable And I think near the end I was like, that is untrue and we're gonna fix it and I'm gonna recruit all of the smart people in this room to help us do that. And we had a sign up sheet we recruited. engineers. Lawyers, water experts, you fucking name it.

And we had a committee of 20 people who were rock stars. And then we, went [00:13:00] and researched and then the government finally was like, I better put somebody on this.

And eventually came up with three solutions that had been vetted by teams of engineers who specialize in the area. so it was Tony, Brenda, and I who were the three powerhouses of this organization.

anyway, so we had a meeting with them. former premier Jim Prentis, who'd came on board and we were like, this is what you should do.

You should build this one. This is why. And we had an hour and he was like, that's great. I think I should too. and then called me you need to come work for me. I want you to be the executive director of the premier's office in Southern Alberta.

Krista: Oh my gosh,

Emma: And I said, yes, because of course you say yes.

And when I was in law school and I had all these career ambitions and I thought I'd be doing these big, big jobs. and then it sort of took this different path with having kids and being frustrated for 10, 15 years,

then when this opportunity, it like, it was just like on a whim. I decided to use this [00:14:00] side of my brain that I managed to suppress, in so many ways,

Andrea: Hmm.

Emma: I just hadn't been fired up or interested at the level that I needed to be. And then all of a sudden I was swimming with sharks and I could swim and I could race and I could fucking keep up

and just taking the chance to finally say something that I was thinking and actually then knowing how to follow up on it and finding out that I've got the capacity to be able to get things done and with the right team in place, we can impact change. so, I don't think there's any way that I could be doing what I'm doing now had I not had that experience.

Andrea: what a story and what a journey. And I, I love what you said around, using a different part of your brain that has always been there, but it had never had an opportunity or you'd never given it the opportunity to kind of like, yeah. So you move beyond the fear, tapped into that [00:15:00] piece that was always there, but you let it have its space and place on stage.

And then being able to follow through

Emma: Mm-hmm.

Andrea: and then being able to see what you're capable of when you allow. The fear not to get in your way. that's a huge transformation. So you would've been in your early forties, I imagine, at that time.

So you had young children, and this was, a turning point So if we think about that flood being the moment that things shifted, to move beyond fear. It had you, uh,

Krista: You definitely had the confidence, which was very cool.

Andrea: Yeah. You used that part of your brain that you, perhaps had been pushing aside. you did mention ADHD something that you've also discovered, in the last few years.

I don't know when you

Emma: yeah,

Andrea: share a little bit more about that, but also it changed your relationships with not only yourself, but then with your [00:16:00] husband, and then with your teams that you were working with. So, such a massive transformation point right.

In your trajectory.

Krista: probably changed your relationship with your kids too.

Emma: Yeah, it did. Yeah, they did. all of a sudden, it was like, oh, let's go visit mom in her office, which is in this big government building downtown, and we have to go past all the security who were there taking care of my mom.

I mean, they also saw, they also saw, you know, I, I get stressed about stuff, But even then, once I was in that job, my ex-husband said to me He was like, when you were in that job, you were functioning at your highest capacity, and you were happiest.

Andrea: Interesting. Interesting.

Emma: yeah, yeah. And so he recognized that too,

So there was then all the political BS that goes along with it, but, but it was new, it was interesting. It was engaging. There was always new people, always new problems. Shit's moving at warp speed. which is what I like. I [00:17:00] like that.

Krista: And taking care of your community,

Emma: Yeah. Yeah. Well, and you know what was a really beautiful thing about that job was, really understanding how communities function.

from this bird's eye view, it was like taking off in an airplane and being able to look down and see, okay. There's post-secondary, there's non-profit, there's the business community, there's government. life was about how do all of these pieces come together and shape what it is that our community is,

And that essentially we can't do one without the other.

they are significant and they require, interplay all the time.

Andrea: Hmm. I love that description of community. It's something that's definitely top of mind as we build communities around us. so much of what you've just described to me brings to life the words that you used to describe yourself, resilient, moving through unknowns, pushing [00:18:00] past fear, compassionate.

because you, were drawn to, you know, in a time of crisis what it was doing to people's lives in the homes that were now,devalued and people who were now, struggling to figure out what they were gonna do. and then the compassion for making sure, people were okay moving forward.

and then ridiculously ambitious like. It. The whole story

Emma: We're gonna build a fucking dam.

Krista: Yes.

Emma: The dam is being built by the way

Andrea: Wow.

Krista: Well

Andrea: I hope they're calling it the Emma Dam. They could call it.

Emma: sure they're not, I'm sure. Oh, I like that one.

Andrea: uh.

Emma: I should actually send the premier note on that.

Andrea: There you go. That's your next email.

Krista: Yep.

Emma: Dam Emma,

Andrea: Um,

Emma: I,

Andrea: I wonder if maybe you would take that story [00:19:00] of that transformation, which as we talked about maybe was early forties, and then take us into some of the other elements that maybe showed up in your life over the course of the last 10 years,

Emma: so because I'd sort of been doing this part-time work and in and out of stuff before then finally you're in, a position where you're literally like, my days are like, okay. Who's the CEOs of the major corporations in this city, and I have meetings with them and they need something from us and we need something from them.

And who are the people leading the universities and so you got experience interacting with these people who were inspirational and who are just people. And the flip side of that is I also got to interact with people who were not inspirational and who in the past I might have thought I was intimidated by and then [00:20:00] realized that that was ridiculous.

And so I think what it taught me that job was that I could compete in a way that I'd forgotten about. Because I like competing. I like winning. I fucking love winning. I fucking love it. I wanna win. I wanna win.

Krista: That's so good to know.

Emma: so I, once we lost the election, so I lost my job. Uh, and then, I ended up going back into real estate, but I was just so uninspired.

but I was standing in my closet 'cause I had to go to some board meeting and I'd given away all my suits and

Why does nobody make like just a perfect pencil skirt that goes with this, that goes with that. And I started thinking about how women in corporate environments have to dress. And, and I reflected on when I was in the Premier's office, what were the pieces that made me feel most confident, I would wear a really beautiful silk shirt and a trouser and

I've got the day covered and I [00:21:00] can, slay it. so what I wanted to do was build a collection that was really easy for people to put things together and I went down this rabbit hole of mapping it out. What would I make? That's where I met Lisa, because I needed to find someone who actually knew what the hell they were doing in terms of making clothes, which she does 'cause she had been at Lulu and at Gap before that. and once you know you can get a dam built, it seems,

Krista: You can do anything.

Emma: It seems like maybe I could make a few pieces of clothes and sell 'em. So, this was the other thing is it was coming back to this idea of what do I love?

I've spent way too much money on clothes. I love clothes. I remember my mother was so not into clothes. I think my mother was the anti fashionista. she was an incredible lawyer, but I didn't even know a blow dryer was a thing that existed until I was 20.

what do you mean? There was a tool that you can calm your hair with and makeup and [00:22:00] then outfit. And I remember like being in high school and borrowing a friend's outfit and it was some Leggings and an oversized sweatshirt.

But I had the best day today. 'cause I felt awesome. It all lined up So it, I understood for me, the power of feeling like I had my shit together. And that had translated for me intolaw school, I was Reese Witherspoon in law school.

I was legally blonde, I was literally showing up in miniskirts and leather pants and insane outfits.

I don't need to be a fashionista, but I just wanna feel good about how I'm showing up.

so that was really why I ended up in that field.

And I had no idea how fucking hard it would be.

Andrea: So this is the turning point or moment where you moved from a career as a lawyer, as a builder of dams, as a real estate, brokerage founder, into designing clothes [00:23:00] and putting a brand together that was filling a gap in the market that you had identified based on your own experience of not having, access to what you needed to feel good.

Emma: Yeah.

Andrea: at your job, and so this was in about 2018, I think you had said.

Emma: It was like a side project,

Andrea: Yeah.

Emma: and I'd sell a house and then I'd pay for some

And then I'd sell another house, and then we'd paid Lisa to be my consultant, and we'd

Andrea: Yeah.

Emma: work on some designs, and then we'd go down and, retool them, revisit them, plan it all out,off the side of my desk thing that I was funding with my other job.

and then, You get to the point I am now standing in the bank and I need to take out $150,000 line of credit to order our whole first run.Which was like 300 unit minimums. So it was like 32 boxes of [00:24:00] stuff, which we did, and we ordered it all and it showed up February 23rd, 2020 on my doorstep.

the work wear collection

Andrea: and we all know what that date signifies,

Emma: yeah, yeah.

And I didn't realize marketing, what's marketing? We'll figure it out So we, really hustled and had to find our market really quickly. we knew who we were selling to. So that happened really, really quickly.

And then there were some parts of it though, that we'd fluked into, we bought these pants and skirts and this fabric that was insanely comfortable. So we did, were doing dress pants and dress skirts and a fabric that felt like your lounge wear. Um, and I'm wearing our silk shirt.

This feels like pajamas. And so what happened was we ended up really finding our niche in, the way I describe it now like Theory and Lululemon had a baby, It, is this idea we've come together and we've joined up comfort and [00:25:00] style in a way that I don't think other people do.

And that's, and not just in one or two pieces, but it's a thing across the entire collection.

Andrea: Mm-hmm.

Emma: and giving people a lot of monochromatic outfitting choices that they feel really good about and that are super comfortable and super stylish. So that was the evolution into this.

But along the way you make, error after error,we had to figure out Facebook marketing. We paid too much on that. you can't even think about where you've blown money.

But, this year has been a real turning year for us. And it started out really, really shitty. well it started out a, I got Uh, separated. It's all fine. We're good. But, it was 23 years, January one move outta my house into some new house.

and the kids are gone, they're on their own. so it's like me and my dog, and the weight of that. I'm on my own now. I really gotta make this work, I felt like I always had a backup before.

Now I'm betting on me.

Andrea: I just got. The shivers. Emma, [00:26:00] this is something that we've, talked about, which is, Basically, it's a tell of something that is so powerful and moving and, impactful, that you get goosebumps.

and, when you just said that you had to bet on you, I just got a full set of goosebumps.

And you and I are the same age,

Emma: Yeah.

Andrea: So you're 52 years old and in your life you had just shared that you always seem to have, your partner or your, husband and you have your children at home and then at 52 you're betting on you

which is powerful, it's a big transformative moment and I imagine that there's gonna be so many women like me and probably Krista, that get the shivers when they hear that, because I think That in midlife often, if we're blessed in [00:27:00] many ways, we have something that offers us that opportunity to bet on ourselves and to trust ourselves or to,

Krista: Push past. Past the fear.

Andrea: yeah, Krista. Yeah.

Emma: past the fear is huge, right? Like, I mean, so this year I'm in that space. I take on all the, personal guarantees in the company, of which there were many. 'cause you can't really do this in Canada without them. and they weigh on me.

and then, our meta advertising costs got out of control. we were pissing money away. we had a factory owner in Vancouver die which meant. We lost all of our summer inventory because she'd cut it but not sewn it. And there was really nobody to sew it. Uh, so it was a 400 k loss in the middle of that.

And we're still burning through way too much cash. So I had to cut the team in half. we had to pull back a shit ton of spend and we had to figure [00:28:00] out what to do. And so I have these consultants in North Carolina who are brilliant. They're amazing. I was like, guys like, is this it?

Should I just, you know? And they're like, no, your foundation's too good. You got

Andrea: Hmm.

Emma: good stuff here. We're gonna do this. so I called my girlfriend, sippy, who I love, and

Andrea: What a wonderful name.

Emma: Sippy Chhina. Sippy Chhina is a fucking baller.

Krista: So she fit perfectly right beside you.

Emma: sippy actually yesterday gave me shit again, which I love.

I love my getting shit from sippy events. I'm like, I need to raise money. And she was the managing partner at Deloitte Calgary.

her customers or her clients were all really gruff, oil and gas guys, And she just puts up with zero bullshit. she looked at me you gotta get your shit together, okay, tell me what to do. she held my hand.

She was like, we're gonna raise money. And so she helped me structure the deal. We got some meetings and then I spent the summer pitch, pitch pitch, pitch, pitch, pitch pitch. I had to [00:29:00] place an order in July. I did not have the money. 'cause we didn't have stuff to sell.

So, I had to place an order with our previous factory, for $380,000, which I didn't know how I was gonna pay for it in July. And then I had to spend the summer raising towards that. and so it was a really stressful summer. I got about three weeks out from having to pay that invoice and, um, oh, you wanna hear a fun woo woo story.

Andrea: Yeah.

Emma: Okay. I have this massage therapist,

So I go into her on this Friday and I was stressed outta my head and I was like. Cornelia, we need to manifest some feminine energy and financial solutions here.

so she does this thing where I lie down for two hours and she chants over me and massages me at the same time, and we talk about different universes

I'm just receiving all, just do it. Felt great. Next day, noon, I'm at an antique store and I get an email from [00:30:00] this female investor and she's like, I've initiated the wire transfer for 500 K. Here's your subscription agreement.

Krista: What.

Again with the shivers.

Andrea: Oh my gosh. I'm gonna, I'm gonna run out of shivers,

Emma: we did it. And it was from a woman too, which was just so,so powerful.

Krista: how did that woman get your information and need

Emma: well, no, I'd pitched her, I

Krista: you? You had

Emma: No, no. This was someone who we'd been having conversations with and then,

Andrea: That's wild.

Emma: so then I had the money, so I paid for the run. Then I was so tired. I called my best friend in Houston. I was like, wanna go to Austin City Limits? So first week of October, I spent three days dancing.

Krista: Yeah, you did.

Emma: yeah, I did. that was super fun. Then came back, got the new run, had to do the samples, upload the photos, Then we're pre-selling the stuff. It [00:31:00] arrives in the port November one and it locks down because of the port labor action strike.

So I have customers who want their stuff. We've sold it to them. They're amazing customers. It took us four to six weeks to get. That shit out. I can't even remember now, but It was over four weeks. finally they, they called it off.

I think it took too long. you know what? I don't need the government to give me a grant or to pat me on the head

I need you to fucking run the critical infrastructure

Just do your job. Just get outta my way Make sure stuff works.

Krista: So you can do your job too.

Emma: so you can do your job.

you know, small business people don't have pensions. Small business people don't have, guaranteed jobs. You're just trying to get out there and get your people paid and quite frankly, [00:32:00] build the economy and build stuff. So I'm getting a little political here, but I'm just like, there's certain stuff that needs to work and we rely on the government to make it work so that we can go do our jobs

Krista: So

When you're faced with these moments and you are thinking, okay, do you just stay calm and go, okay, this is a moment I'm gonna figure this out. is there ever a moment when you're just like, I am done, this is enough. I can't, I won't do it anymore. what is the thing in your head that keeps you moving forward

Emma: Uh, well here we have vanity, which ties into ego.

Krista: Okay.

Emma: no, I mean, all joking aside, uh, like I said, I like to win. And, I think recently I've started to define success as being this point in time where [00:33:00] I see a problem and I understand that I've been through something like this before and that I have capacity to find my way through this too.

I think success is in that very second of feeling that I got this, whether you have it or not remains to be seen,And it may turn out in a completely different way, but I think that fundamental belief that you can handle it, that now none of that means. They don't have a meltdown on my couch.

Krista: I'm just checking because it, that's a lot. You've been through a

Emma: no, no, that doesn't mean there have been a few serious meltdowns. And actually there was a, there was a point after I got the money too, and that I'd been so stressed and so worked up that I was literally useless for a week.

I vegged on my couch and I walked my dog I was so fried from the stress of the year that I just needed to, and it took about 20 [00:34:00] days, honestly, for that to like kind of un

Andrea: Move through. Yeah,

Emma: through

Then getting the work done. Now we've done sort of this work of this fourth quarter, and now I'm moving back into finishing the raise. And I'm gonna be honest, I hate raising

Krista: That's horrible.

Emma: I hate it. And you know why I hate it? I hate, I have this weird mindset thing around it that it's like me asking for help, but

I've created this really cool opportunity and we're kicking ass. And there's all of these things that we can do if we have access to capital. So let's go. and that's been a real mind shift for me. And I don't know if that's a woman thing. I think

Andrea: Hmm

Emma: be a woman thing where we're like, I should be able to do this on my own.

I should be able to, you know, do it. How do I ask for help? Is asking for help weak? Then there's that other layer of money and help.

Krista: it's a lot. It's so layered.

Andrea: and the woman that came through for you with the capital

Emma: I love [00:35:00] raising money from women. And, and especially she, she's a customer, So when we called her the first time, she was like, I'm sitting here in my Sophie Grace feeling great, so yeah, let's talk.

Krista: Oh

Andrea: I love it.

Emma: she got it.

Krista: Those are the best investors because they see it. They feel it. They know it in their heart, in their body, everything. And they're, they wanna be invested because they trust you,

Emma: Yeah,

Krista: it's exciting

Emma: yeah. It's fun. And it's fun to have them along for the ride too,

Andrea: there's probably so much relatability for so many people around. asking for something, suggesting that you somehow are unable to do it yourself, or that you require help or that you're not strong.

But I loved how you just framed it where you saw it as being,I've got an opportunity for you. you're lucky that I'm offering you this opportunity to [00:36:00] join and be part of something that's really awesome. So you reframed it,

Emma: Yeah, it is a reframe and it's one that I have to always have front of mind for me, and I have to think back to, the guy Adam, who did WeWork and

Krista: Mm-hmm.

Emma: I need the call confidence of Adam with the execution skills of me,

Yeah.

Krista: you mentioned, and I hope it's okay to bring this back, but you mentioned, ADHD, and I'm just wondering how in all of this journey that you've already talked about how that's played into your life and how that made you adjust

Emma: Yeah. And I'm still working through it. it wasn't until, we sent one of my kids to get looked at, in their late teens. and then my doctor was like, have you ever done this Em? no. maybe you should. So. I did the test, and [00:37:00] it was pretty clear. and what was interesting about it, I think I was 47 at the time,

it really allowed me to understand, some behaviors of mine from the past and things that I'd felt sort of shame around in this way,

and that I'd always just, filed under, I'm

lazy, or I'm, totally disorganized. I remember in high school,I was in this, IB program, the gifted program and I got kicked outta Western Canada High School here because I was a truant.

Like I never went. And I remember getting into a fight with the vice principal and the football teacher was the coach of some law class that I had to take at nine in the morning on a Monday. I had a 95 in the class, so why do I have to go?

This makes no sense. I'm gonna have a coffee and chill. and they were like, no, that doesn't work that way. You're outta here. so I ended up at [00:38:00] Bishop Carroll, which was this school where you could learn at your own pace. which was fun and amazing.

probably not ideal for me in terms of like math and sciences, but was amazing in terms of English lit and traumatic arts. Like I was directing Anton Checkoff plays. It was, you know, build your own adventure, which suited me, and then I went to, universities sort of similar things and then law school happened again and that was it again.

I remember they called me the Phantom in, business law school class.

but so the way I learn is different. and law school was amazing 'cause it was like a hundred percent final. don't make me do anything all year. and then you give me like three hours of high pressure intensity.

I got this. that stream of stress and flood just like dials you in. Super focused. So, I mean, I've been, I guess self-medicating by setting myself up into these environments of like challenge and chill and thrill where, you [00:39:00] get that dopamine surge and the adrenaline's

Andrea: Mm-hmm.

Emma: and you're on and performing at the top of your game.

And then the rest of the time sort of floating around, finding patterns in things. Right? So it all made sense in retrospect, the choices that I'd made over time, being attracted to risk taking behavior, I'm gonna send the fucking email.

Let's go, we can get into like hitchhiking in Guatemala when I was 18. Another

Krista: Oh, okay.

Emma: Yeah,

Krista: Maybe that'll be our bonus, Betty.

Emma: yeah, yeah. I've done some dangerous shit over the course of my life. and I'm sure it's all been that thrill seeking component to

but now If I'm having to really intensely focus on things that I don't like, like financial reporting, I crank up the Vyvanse

and being CEO is such a weird role 'cause you're context switching all the time, It's like okay, we're gonna do a podcast and then I'm gonna get on [00:40:00] a call with the accounting team again and we're gonna go over the financial statements from this and we're gonna have a conversation with the legal team about how it is that we wanna structure the next raise.

And then I'm gonna go into a design meeting about whether I like the rise of this pant or the shade of that color, And then we're gonna go into a thing abouthave we booked the party So I think the ADHD is good for that too. that ability to spend your day.

Krista: Hmm. Switching gears.

Andrea: it's so interesting to hear your, connection between, a diagnosis of ADHD at 47, to all those experiences through childhood and, early adulthood. you're hearing more and more now a lot of women in their midlives, finding that in fact is their story that they have. An entire, decades of their life that have existed with them navigating and managing and or covering up this feeling of [00:41:00] being different. unusual,

Emma: Oh totally.

Andrea: weird,

Emma: yeah, there was a time. My husband was like, why can't you just get a job? As the lawyer at this oil and gas company, and it's really nice.

Krista: No, thank you.

Emma: and a part of the dissolution of our relationship was that, he's still unsure about all of that stuff. doesn't quite get it. which, means you don't quite get me.

Krista: Yeah.

Andrea: right,

Emma: And that makes it hard,

Andrea: Yeah. also, a, a kind of nod to having all of the experience that one has when they reach,their forties and their fifties and onwards, to be able to reflect on and to be able to then recognize because of that experience, what we want moving forward.

And then also what we don't want moving forward. you've shared stories that, reaffirm this. or [00:42:00] at least give this kind of comfort to the fact that, when we reach this time, there's this ability to trust in ourselves and that we know ourselves so much better than we ever did.

It's just like this lovely sense of being able to be revealed for who we are. and no longer trying to fit into the molds of what we were meant to be or what we are apparently meant to be for people.

your stories have so much of that, effect on me and really create that inspiration, which, Half Betty is wanting to create the space to hear other people's stories that we can all nod and get goosebumps for and relate to, and then say, oh my gosh, that's so familiar.

I just felt myself nodding or, feeling like I wanted to jump up and down.

everybody needs a Sippy.

sippy gave me hell last night too. [00:43:00] It was great. I had to go send a wire transfer downtown. I was like, are you downtown? yeah. I'm like, good. I need a sippy check. uh, I came in and she was like, I still think you let people walk all over you. I don't think I do. you do. And that is not strength. Thanks sippy.

Emma: yeah, no.

Andrea: Everybody needs a sippy.

Emma: then she gave me a big hug

Krista: some way. Do you find herLike a mentor,

Emma: A thousand percent. Yeah. A thousand percent. I mean, she's, yeah. Yeah. It's funny. People have this, um, thing that I'm like this super strong person and I, uh, I muster internal strength to get through stuff, but I have my limits on things,

Where, and there are certain types of relationships that I,maybe don't manage really well and need to figure out how to better manage.

And, and some of those have beenwith [00:44:00] powerful, And I'm working my way through how to really stand up for myself in those spaces.

Krista: Hmm.

How to walk into them.

Emma: yeah. And call people on stuff

I remember telling Sippy about one of them and she was like, that is not acceptable.

And I. Picked up the phone and called this person and said, you cannot speak to me that way. And that was really insulting. And we actually then had a really good conversation 'cause he actually didn't mean to, and I'm so sorry and I admire what you're doing and these are some of the limitations around where I'm at with this

but we had a normal conversation

Andrea: Mm-hmm.

Emma: and I was able to say, I still have a lot of learning to do.

Krista: But I mean, you wouldn't have been able to do that when you were younger.

Emma: No.

Krista: There's no way.

Emma: Shocking that it still took someone to kick my ass into it though. But that's okay. That's why we find our Sippys.

Krista: yeah. Yeah.

Emma: Yeah.

Andrea: you also push [00:45:00] past the fear.

Emma: Yeah. A hundred percent. And for me, the idea of letting Sippy down. That's not happening.

Andrea: Interesting.

Krista: Yeah.

Andrea: the power of, or the influence of our community

Emma: Yeah.

Andrea: who we build around us, who's at our

Emma: table

Who's on our team

and the fact that she's put her energy into me and she believes in me. and some of our investors who believe in me, and my employees who believe in me. those are who I overcome my fears for.

Andrea: Mm-hmm.

Krista: That's beautiful.

Mm-hmm. Oh, thank you.

Andrea: Um, can I touch on one other thing, and this is fun

Emma: Okay. Okay.

Andrea: because I think that you also really like fun.

Emma: Oh yeah. Too much.

Andrea: love fun

Emma: I love fun.

Andrea: of you that I also really love. Um,

Emma: a bit ridiculous.

Andrea: but I love that. I love that. [00:46:00] So you mentioned it when you were talking and.

And I'm gonna pull us back, but when you recognized that you you had hit adrenal fatigue burnout, you needed a space and you called up your best girlfriend who's down in Houston,

Emma: yeah,

Andrea: and you said, do you wanna go to a rave for three days in Austin? And she said Yes.

'cause that's what best friends do.

Krista: Oh yeah.

Andrea: And you found yourself dancing

Emma: yeah, yeah,

Andrea: in Texas. Tell me more about what fun looks like for Emma, or what do you do and what do you find that you do that fills your fun cup?

Emma: Um. I do love dance parties. I have a fucking obsession with dance parties and EDM

Andrea: I love this.

Emma: and I think a lot of it is like, we don't get a chance to dance a [00:47:00] ton. especially as you get older I did go to one DJ set here.

and the main guy comes on at midnight andoh, I'm gonna die. I have to go home and I don't drink, so I gave up drinking like seven years ago.

That's a whole other episode. Oh, but it was fun. I loved, Austin city limits or day shows, I love concerts, live music, when I can afford to, I'm gonna be on a music festival circuit because everybody dresses up.

Everybody has fun. It's usually a day party and people are dancing and letting go, and it's a joyful thing. I think there's something like somatic about like dance and about releasing energy in your body. I think there's something about music and just being free and also to be a bit ridiculous in it all

I put on sequin shorts and sneakers and,

Krista: Well, it's play,We, we've, we've done it all of our lives and then all of a sudden there becomes a point where we don't [00:48:00] play anymore.

Emma: yeah, and there's also something that's non-competitive about it, I mean, sports are fun, but I'm competitive at work. I don't need my play to be competitive.

so for me, as I build Sophie Grace, I just wanna build day dance parties everywhere

Krista: my gosh. I'll be

Emma: Day to evening, wrap at 9:00 PM

Krista: Yes.

Emma: disco balls and pizza and ice cream and I just wanna build my whole vision of day dance parties with so much great music and fun

Krista: Maybe this is the next thing that

Andrea: I think we're in.

Krista: Maybe we can help organize this.

Emma: Right. Yeah. it's so great. And I think about a big field and it's like a wedding, but no one has to get married

Krista: Yes and no gifts. Just love

Emma: And then we can all sit around and eat late night pizza

Andrea: Um, this is ama well, obviously we're giving birth to the, like the next

Emma: the next,

Krista: Mm-hmm.

Andrea: everything you've just said completely lights me up as also a fellow [00:49:00] live music, EDM, dance party, DJs, uh, that is my vision. when I feel like I would be happiest, it's basically by myself, but surrounded by people, but by myself.

Dancing somewhere where I am completely released of just being anything but on that dance floor.

Emma: so awesome.

Andrea: That vision is so beautiful, and I love that you're going to, you're gonna do this, so this is being manifested

Emma: this totally needs to happen.

Krista: I love

Andrea: gonna happen. This is gonna happen.

Krista: Well, I think we should. I think we should dance our way out.

Andrea: Emma, would you, uh, uh, we, we are definitely gonna dance our way out. Maybe what you could do for us, 'cause what a conversation and What a set of stories. there's so much here that I feel, is going to spark so [00:50:00] much for our listeners

your stories that have gotten you to where you are. You've surrounded yourself with a community. You've got your Sippys, you've got your Cornelias, you've got your Lisas, you've got your team, you've got your people, you've got your vision moving forward, you know where to have fun and how to have fun.

And I'm so appreciative of this time, and I'm also just so genuinely happy that a year and a half ago we had an opportunity to be connected and that our stories

Emma: We're gonna Yeah.

Andrea: things are, we're still in this universe together. And I just love that so much. and I wonder if you would do something, if you could project yourself to 85-year-old Emma? And she's probably at a dance party. She's probably wearing sequined shorts and high tops. and what would 85-year-old dance party EDM, [00:51:00] Emma, what maybe advice would she give to 52-year-old Emma now,

Emma: Take it all.

Krista: Yes.

Andrea: shivers,

Krista: Take it all.

Andrea: goosebumps. Take it all.

Krista: Take it because you deserve it.

Emma: Yeah, just go. I mean, I'm, I'm moving to LA for three months,

Krista: Oh, how fun.

Emma: In January. I've rented some little cottage in Topanga Canyon and I'm just gonna go. I've always wanted to be down there and so I'm like, why don't I just go down and.

Krista: Oh my gosh.

Emma: And, uh, test the waters and see what, and so that was, when I say take it all let's just go do these things.

It's the first time. Really? I've been free since I was 28.

Krista: Wow,

Emma: so, um,

Krista: that's exciting.

Andrea: gosh. This is, this is wonderful. [00:52:00] So clearly we're gonna need another episode,

Emma: an update. We'll need an update.

Andrea: is what we do. We're just gonna update.

Emma: Yeah.

Andrea: you,

Krista: great.

Andrea: Emma.

Krista: Thank you,

Emma: great to meet you, Krista

Krista: so good to

and Andrea. Thank

for the inspiration. Really, truly.

Andrea: Thrilled, thrilled,

Krista: Thank you so much, Emma.

Andrea: Thank you.

Emma: Thanks guys. That was awesome. Bye.