Christa Hull - Goosebumps and Hard Nips

Andrea Rathborne: [00:00:00] We're here. It's happening.

Krista Gruen: Here we are.

Andrea Rathborne: Christa Hull. So excited to see you again. ~I know that we had an opportunity to connect some weeks ago, uh, and it was one of those wonderful, um, you know, those connections that happen. I was describing to Krista Gruen. Uh, a little earlier how, um, there's this beauty in people that we know and connections and friends where sometimes, um, you know, you can go months and months, maybe even years and you don't directly connect with, uh, with a person.~

~Um, but you always know, and I've always known this. And, and so many others, but you have always been this person that's out there that has always brought me comfort and knowing that you're out there as, uh, as a friend and as somebody that I, uh, feel like I've had in my life now for a very long time, um, with our shared experiences.~

~So, thanks for joining me today on Need for Speed. We're gonna talk about our experiences in, you know, our professional lives and in our careers and in our journeys, like in our human journeys, just as people. And so, a couple of weeks ago, I was thrilled when Wynn Life did that wonderful thing where it kind of does this kind of undulation of journeys and it actually brought you and I back together again to connect and to share our stories and where we were.~

~And, um, it, it just felt like one of those, um, again, natural ways of, of, of answers coming to you, or as I said to Krista Gruen, um, there's this beauty in listening to our instinct, to our gut, to our intuition. Um, to our knowledge of people. And I knew as your name popped up, I thought to myself, without even reconnecting yet, I was, I thought, gosh, if only Krista Hall would be on our Half Betty Show.~

~And here we are. And so there is something to putting things out in the world. And so~ I'm so grateful to have you here today, ~um, and to see your face again. Um,~ and I'm thrilled that we're going to be able to have this time with you, ~uh, on the show to,~ to hear your story and to understand why you are such a beautiful part of this Half Betty community and that you're going to be able to, ~um, you know, ~touch so many people.

With your own personal story, because it will resonate with so many as they connect to, ~you know,~ some of the catalysts of your midlife. And also to learn of where you are now, where you are today. So we're going to go on a little journey with you. ~Uh, ~and, um, when I say we, that will be myself, ~uh,~ and also our lovely Krista Gruen, Half Betty producer and co host ~and my partner.~

~Um,~ and we just are so thrilled to, to jump into this conversation and really to turn it over [00:01:00] to you to hear your story.

Christa Hull: ~Well, my friend, you have always had a way with words, haven't you? I thank you for that.~ I am so honored and grateful to be a part of this journey that you're embarking on. Um, since the moment I heard of what you're up to with Half Betty, I knew I wanted to be a part of it. ~Um, and I'm, yeah,~ thank you so much for thinking of me. I feel the same. It's just always such a joy to connect with you, Andrea. And now Krista, we're new. Friends.

Krista Gruen: Yes.

Christa Hull: Krista Friends.

Yeah.

Andrea Rathborne: Krista Friends.

Christa Hull: Thanks so much for having me. I'm really looking forward to the conversation.

Krista Gruen: Aw. Thanks for being here.

Andrea Rathborne: ~Yeah. Absolutely. Um,~ I want to, I want to jump us right in because I don't want to waste even a single moment without you telling us a lot of your story and all of the little details. ~Um,~ one of the things that we love to do, ~uh,~ when we get into these conversations ~is,~ is start with a little bit of, ~um,~ an exercise ~and,~ and, When I say exercise, it's the good exercise.

It's like the really good exercises that like fuel you. Um, not that there's bad exercise, but this one is in particular, I think quite inspiring. And, ~um,~ it's also [00:02:00] difficult for some people because ~it's, it's,~ it's using reflection upon oneself. And sometimes we find that the hardest. Um, so yes, everything that you have done in your lifetime, Christa Hull, I.

I could not think of anybody who would be more ready to be able to share, ~um,~ five words, ~uh,~ that you believe really tell us the story of who Christa Hull is. And what I'll say also, ~when I leave you for a moment to like share that is don't feel as though there's anything. Any, there's nothing in these words apart from what you know them to be, and should you feel like you want to change them at any point, that is doable.~

~So~ do not feel like you're stuck in these five words, but I would just love to hear, we would love to hear from you, five words that bring Christa Hull to life.

Christa Hull: ~Beautiful.~ What a great question. The first one that comes to me is passionate. I have a lot of passion for this great life of mine, ~of ours. ~Um, next adventurous, willing to try new things, um, more than willing, must try new things often.

~Um,~

ambitious.[00:03:00]

I'm torn between positive and optimistic. What will I choose? Optimistic, just relentlessly.

Krista Gruen: What's the difference for you?

Christa Hull: Good question. ~Just like real, I've got,~ I look at life from a real place of possibility, ~glass half, ~glass half full. Um, I don't know what the difference is, but I think I lean more towards, optimistic, just like always willing to see the good and the positive in things, in any situation, maybe even to a fault at times.

So I've got passionate, adventurous, ~um,~ optimistic,

Andrea Rathborne: ambitious,

Christa Hull: ambitious.

Andrea Rathborne: Yeah.

Christa Hull: Uh, and love, love. I've got a lot of love inside of me to, ~um, to~ share and give. And I'm more in touch with that today than ever before.

Andrea Rathborne: I love that.~ I love that.~ What beautiful words.

~Um,~ I really [00:04:00] appreciate, ~you know, the,~ what I saw you doing.

It's an interesting exercise in that when you ask people these words, ~um, watching, ~watching what they do physically is so fascinating ~and,~ and you,~ um,~ naturally go to this beautiful space of looking up~ to the sky, to, you know, ~to the world around you. ~It's in, you know, um, it's, it's really kind of interesting to watch what people do, where they go, when they're thinking about, about their words.~

~Um, And, uh,~ I mean, there's probably a whole other show,~ uh, ~that would be around, ~um, you know, ~body language and gestures ~and all of these things.~ but it's,~ I~ the look on your face as you were thinking about the words is in and of itself very inspiring.

Christa Hull: Oh, cool. Who knew? ~I wasn't looking at myself. ~

Andrea Rathborne: It really is.

It really is. It's, it shows you, um, such a beautiful peek into who people are when you can see that those words resonate as they're thinking of them and the smile on their faces~ and, you know, them, you know, looking for. Kind of what's around them to tell them the word that describes them.~ It's a really, it's a really lovely exercise.

So thank you for sharing those five words with us.

Krista Gruen: It's also not an easy thing to do for some people.

Andrea Rathborne: It's not.

Krista Gruen: But I feel like you've done the work.

Christa Hull: Maybe.

Krista Gruen: I have this [00:05:00] feeling.

Christa Hull: ~Uh, ~maybe the meaning of life is the deep. Reflection, introspection, um, self awareness.~ I am a junkie for all of it. ~

Andrea Rathborne: Well, you're in the right place. We're going to get right into it.

Christa Hull: ~Great. Let's go. ~

Andrea Rathborne: ~We're going to be able to bring all of this to life. ~

~Um,~ Christa, we, ~you know, we~ are going into these sessions, um, with what Half Betty is, um, setting up for people, the community that it's building. ~And it, it really was born of, um, Uh, a reflection on, you know, where we are as women in our mid lives is this really wild ride.~

It's, in so many ways, it's uncharted. It doesn't really have a map, as life doesn't, and I understand that. But there's something even, you know, Um, it feels like more wild in women's midlives with all of the change and with all of the catalysts that seem to occur. ~Um,~ and while we start to see that perhaps that is, you know, truthful, um, we don't necessarily see a place that's capturing those stories ~as they're,~ as they're being experienced so that others can ~actually ~find.

~Um,~ connection, perhaps solace, ~um, perhaps, um,~ [00:06:00] inspiration, ~perhaps~ something that just tells them that they're okay~ because that's happening to somebody else. ~

Christa Hull: Affirmation.

Andrea Rathborne: ~Right? Affirmation.~ Affirmation. Being heard or being seen, all of these things,~ there didn't really seem to me to be, um, There are, I'm sure, so many places, but I didn't.~

~feel myself, like I knew where to turn when I was experiencing some of these things myself. And so, you know, this, this space was meant to be for women who are in their mid lives to tell their own unique stories. Um, and to start kind of the story at perhaps, um, You know, a catalyst or a, an event or an experience or a moment that feels now in, in kind of retrospect to have been something that triggered, um, a new way of, of kind of experiencing oneself or a reflection or something that perhaps inspired you.~

~You to be, um, thinking about things differently or perhaps to behave differently. So~ we believe that there are any number of catalysts that kind of start to occur for women in their midlives. And I wonder if perhaps you would draw on your own experiences in midlife ~and, and,~ and ~pull on maybe one of those experiences and~ kind of start us there with what that experience was ~and,~ and ~kind of~ where it led you.

Christa Hull: Yeah. Yeah. Such a good question. And, and there are several, uh, catalysts that have, ~um,~ contributed to, ~um, you know, my,~ my journey, my story, uh, where I find myself today. I think the one that, it's difficult for me to reflect, a lot has happened in my life in the last 7 to 10 years, especially the last 5 to 7 years. And. It's a little hard to put my finger on like the exact sequencing, but I'll start by sharing that I have [00:07:00] been very grateful and fortunate to ~have an incredible career, uh, to ~have built an incredible career working for a number of different Vancouver founded and based. lifestyle brands. ~Um,~ and I've also been fortunate to work, ~uh,~ directly for founder led brands and businesses.

~Um,~ and I accumulated ~about 20,~ just over 20 years of experience working, ~um,~ for a number of different great brands, starting first with Intrawest and Whistler Blackcomb. Um, I went on then to spend a number of years at Lululemon where ~you and I got to meet Andrea. And I don't know if you'll remember this, but I do remember bringing my daughter Karis to work when she was a toddler.~

~And I have a really clear vision of her sitting on your lap at your desk and you were playing with her. And, um, it's funny how the brain works. So, I went on to, uh, Um, be a part of helping Lululemon grow for a number of years, which is where~ we fortunately cross paths from there. I went on to, ~um,~ an Australian ~actually~ founded, ~uh,~ led business called Bailey Nelson, um, and supported them in entering the North American market, ~um, several years ago.~ And then most recently. ~Um, or then, uh,~ Saje Natural Wellness, another Vancouver founded. So I accumulated a whole bunch of really incredible experience working for these founder led, iconic lifestyle [00:08:00] brands. ~Um,~ and then most recently I did a shorter stint with a Vancouver founded, uh, brand called Stoco, um, startup, my first sort of foray into the startup world.

~And, um, what I came.~ You know, all of these roles had, um, you know, they really tapped into that value or that word that I shared earlier around my ambition. I gave a lot to these businesses over the course of, um, a couple of decades and I received a lot. So I want to acknowledge that. Um, and maybe I gave a little bit more than I had to give at times, ~um,~ which led me to, ~um, Um,~ finding myself in my, let's say, ~around the 40, uh, uh, uh, ~approaching 40 or just turning 40, um, two young school aged kids.

I'd been traveling for 15 years straight for work, um, always in different time zones, ~um,~ different cities around North America, did a lot of international travel, ~um,~ [00:09:00] and found myself exhausted. No other way of saying it, but like quite depleted. Um, and for a lot of years, my work was very fueling and energizing for me.

And then all of a sudden I'm approaching 40 and I just don't have ~the,~ the ~like~ energy that I had, ~um,~ to sustain ~my, like my, ~my vitality started to, ~um, you know,~ become compromised with, ~uh,~ working long hours, being more than a hundred percent in. My dear friend says, Halsey, you only know how to go 200 percent.

Um, and that was, that was true for a long time and I'm learning. Uh, so I think what happened is I became aware that it was time for me to create something of my own. ~It was time for me. I'd, I'd, I'd helped,~ I'd given so much [00:10:00] to helping bring other founders visions to life.

Andrea Rathborne: ~Yeah. ~

Christa Hull: And. It was time for me to be my own founder, to become my own CEO, to step into the land of entrepreneurship and do things~ like~ my way on my terms. I want to say that I was so fortunate to work for, ~um,~ many incredible aspirational, inspiring leaders. And I worked for some challenging leaders. And ~Um,~ I became resistant to that. ~Like~ I no longer wanted to work in the context of, ~um,~ unconscious leadership and I just found that I wanted to do it my way.

So I decided it was time to step away from the corporate life, ~um,~ that I had been leading for a really long time and start to explore ~what,~ what it would look like to, ~um,~ create something of my own.~ I love a journey. Sorry, I snapped because~

Krista Gruen: unconscious leadership is so [00:11:00] powerful. Can we dig into that for a second?

Christa Hull: Yeah. By all means. ~And then I'm like, I want to tell you about my other catalyst, but let's stay on this one.~ Unconscious leadership.

Krista Gruen: Yeah. What does that mean to you?

Christa Hull: Yeah. ~Um, disconnection,~ disconnected leadership, ~um,~ rushing, ~like~ being ahead of source, like moving, ~uh,~ more quickly than, ~um, ~is required in order to be really mindful and intentional about choices and decisions. ~Um,~ sometimes unconscious leadership has looked like being dismissive. ~Thank you.~ Um, narcissistic, ~um,~ and in reaction, like in a constant state of reaction, ~um,~ where I've spent 20 something years learning how to respond to situations rather than react. So,~ um, yeah,~ I've experienced, I would say, a lot of conscious leadership in my life. ~Um,~ so I know what that looks like. And I've also experienced a lot of disconnected, reactive, [00:12:00] narcissistic leadership. And it's been challenging. ~And I don't, I don't, um, ~Yeah, I'm like a real stand for healthy, empowered, vital leaders in the world. ~Um,~ and that's who I'm here to be.

Krista Gruen: Wow.

Christa Hull: And I'm not perfect. So it's not always perfect.

Andrea Rathborne: ~And do you, do you picture~ as you were telling that Kind of journey, ~you know, ~we were hearing, ~you know,~ so much gratitude for all of the learnings that you got along the way ~and,~ and even, you know, I, what I'm taking from that too is that, um, despite the fact that, ~you know, the,~ the unconscious leadership experiences are challenging, they also serve, um, they serve us because they help us know what we perhaps don't want.

Christa Hull: Yeah.

Andrea Rathborne: And if they didn't occur, we wouldn't have that experience. And so I ~mm-hmm~ . I wonder, ~um, you know,~ as we think about, ~you know, where you are now in terms of mm-hmm . Your, your, your age, where you are in your mm-hmm . In~ your early mid forties, ~your, um. Um,~ you've gotten to this place of recognizing and identifying what [00:13:00] unconscious leadership looks like by virtue of being where you are and, um,

Christa Hull: Yeah, exposed to all different types of leadership. Uh huh.

Andrea Rathborne: Which is so incredibly powerful.

Christa Hull: What a gift.

Andrea Rathborne: And what a gift, ~right? ~

Christa Hull: What a gift.

Krista Gruen: Well, it's interesting that you say it's a gift because some people could turn that into a negative and get caught up in it. And allow that to take over. And you've chosen to be optimistic.

Andrea Rathborne: Yeah.

Christa Hull: Yeah.

Andrea Rathborne: Super inspiring.

Christa Hull: Yeah.

Andrea Rathborne: ~Very inspiring. ~

Christa Hull: Gratitude for every ounce of life experience I've been exposed to contributes to who I am now and what I'll create next. The type of parent I am, all of it.

Andrea Rathborne: Exactly. So it, so it lends itself to not just one aspect or one kind of lane of your life, but in fact inspires everything and how you show up.

Christa Hull: 100%. Yeah. Yep. Yeah.

Krista Gruen: But how do you, I feel like there's listeners ~listening~ right now going ~like,~ Oh, [00:14:00] that's great. Like, how do you, Oh, that's just awesome. Like, how do you stay positive? How do you be optimistic when you're stuck in a job that you can't get out of for whatever reason

Christa Hull: Yeah.

Krista Gruen: I mean, it happens in relationships too. So what drives the optimism, ~like what is the thing?~ Is it a state of mind every morning? Is it a practice? ~Is it a reminder?~ Is it a book you read? ~Is it a,~ how, how do you remain optimistic? optimistic when things are so challenging?

Christa Hull: Oh, that's such a good question. And ~I,~ my brain is going 12 different directions in terms of how to answer it. But the thing that's rising to the surface the most is, ~uh,~ the distinction ~around~ that I have around choice. ~Like, I, I am,~ I lose touch with this often and have to go back and remind myself. But I think ~like ~remembering that I get to choose in every moment. ~Um,~ how I'm going to react or respond, um, the decisions I'm going to make, [00:15:00] how I'm going to spend my time, the thoughts that I allow to enter my psyche and stick around or not.

~Like~ I really think the~ like~ short answer is remembering that I get to choose in every moment. Um, how I want to be, what I want to think about, how I want to speak. Um, and that's, so that's been a really. powerful ~like ~lesson and distinction for me. And then I think there's something important to acknowledge about the practices.

~Like~ I am very mindful about my energy these days, ~like,~ and really aware of what fuels ~and,~ and positively contributes to my energy and what degrades or takes away from the quality of my energy. And so I, you know, I have a practice for A couple of years now where I don't have my I don't bring a smartphone into my bedroom.

It's simple. I plug it in. Let's say somewhere around nine o'clock in the kitchen. It stays [00:16:00] there. ~Um,~ I go to sleep without it. ~Um,~ and then when I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is I wake up early and I can thank my hormones for that. But I do have a daily practice of like, Oh, you know what?

For years, for like five years, I was mad about it. Like, really mad. And I still get mad about the fact that I wake up much earlier than I would like sometimes. And I choose to embrace that time, there's that power of choice again, as~ like~ this quiet solitude, time to myself before the world wakes up. ~It's dark at this time of year in the summer, sometimes it's light,~ but I take a good 30, sometimes 45 minutes to ease into the day.

Without, ~um,~ any electronics or internet interference and I, sometimes I do breath work, sometimes I meditate, sometimes I have a really long shower, um, or ~like~ sit down and enjoy a cup of coffee. But I usually start my day with some sort of mindfulness practice, usually a [00:17:00] meditation or some breath work.

And that is ~like~ such a powerful way for me to start, ~um, Like, to, to create higher vibrational energy. ~And when I do take the time to do that, I find that it trickles throughout the day, for sure.

Andrea Rathborne: It is interesting how we start things, um, will set It's such an interesting tone of, ~um,~ energy ~for,~ for how it then unfolds. I mean, it's so true. Um, you know, we've, we've long talked about this ~from our,~ from our days in, ~in~ our shared time with Lululemon, in fact, around, ~you know, um,~ the awareness ~of,~ of the energy that we all carry with us just in being human and being alive. How wonderful is that? Um, but that, that energy,

Krista Gruen: how lucky are we to have choices as well.

Andrea Rathborne: Right? Yeah.

Krista Gruen: That we can choose.

Andrea Rathborne: Absolutely.

Krista Gruen: That we have the ability to choose. Yeah.

Andrea Rathborne: And just that energy, ~it, it, It, ~it actually is what we bring, you know,~ we bring our, ~we bring ourselves, but that is actually [00:18:00] in the form ~of,~ of energy. And so ~how we choose, um, to share that energy as you were describing or where we,~ where we choose to put that energy as you were describing, ~you know,~ putting it into a morning routine that sets you up for the day is, ~um, you know,~ something that.

~We can all,~ we can actually all choose to do. ~Um,~ which I love. I love the, the practicality of just being able to say, Oh, you know what? I'm going to get up if it's not due to hormones, which many of us will, will totally agree with that, that that's what's happening. But if it's not for hormones, then, you know, if, You know, I want to set up an alarm for half an hour earlier and then just saying for 30 minutes, ~I'm going to do this thing, or~ I'm going to practice this thing, or I'm going to just sit quietly.

~Um,~ it's amazing how it will change things.

Christa Hull: Once in a while I forget or I get distracted and I'll, you know, I'll go to find the meditation that I want to listen to, but I accidentally open the text message instead. Um, and it's, it, That's all it takes. That's all it takes is ~like~ saying yes to information [00:19:00] coming in before I'm ~like~ grounded present and ready. And if I see something, ~um,~ that is time sensitive or I'm in reaction to, I will literally spend the next 90 minutes as I'm like getting myself ready, getting my kids ready, making lunches, you know, preparing myself for my day. I'll be. obsessed with that thing and then I'm late and then I'm cranky and I'm in reaction when my kids are slow and ~it's like, ~it's that simple.

It's that simple that when I let the ~like~ clutter or distraction or noise come in, ~um,~ when it's not the right time, can have a cascade effect all the way through~ like~ the whole day until the time I go to sleep. I find, I'm very sensitive. I think we are. Sensitive.

Krista Gruen: yeah, we are.

Andrea Rathborne: ~I think so. I think so.~

Christa Hull: Energy.

Andrea Rathborne: That's wild. ~Do you want to, um, ~do you want to continue through ~this path that you've kind of, this ~This journey of one of the things that you've ~kind of~ experienced over these years, ~um,~ and ~kind of ~continue us [00:20:00] through to ~where,~ where that has ~kind of~ led you to now. Uh, we, we've got our listeners probably in a little bit of a perfect cliffhanger moment where we're, we've heard ~this, you know, this,~ this career that's moved through all these different spaces and it's kind of positioned you to where you are today. Do you want to talk to us a little bit more about where you are now?

Christa Hull: Yeah, I do. And I think before I do, I want to share just a little bit more context around ~what, what all,~ what else contributed to,

Krista Gruen: yeah, you said you had a few more catalysts,

Christa Hull: a few other things. And so, okay. So I'm 45. I just turned 45. And my son is seven. And so sometime between when my son was born. And ~let, let,~ let's say five years ago. ~So I'm just about 40.~ I'm at the cusp of 40 and I start to notice that I'm not myself. And it feels like a ~abs, like just~ like a colossal shift in personality. Um, and it started with the [00:21:00] sleep interruption, ~um,~ and waking between three and four o'clock in the morning and never.

ever being able to go back to sleep, like despite every single I've tried everything and ~this trend started, let's say five years ago. So I'm, I'm 40. I have like a toddler. Um,~ I'm kind of fresh back to work full time sort of corporate world. ~Um,~ And I'm traveling a ton and the sleep interruption starts ~and I, and it's,~ and it's killing me because I'm in an executive role.

I've got two young kids and met like a house and I'm trying to take care of myself and I'm, I'm, I can't get more than like four or five hours of sleep. Um, and I've always loved sleep. So that was not enough. Um, and then I started to experience really intense, wild and crazy mood swings that I couldn't explain.

Um, ~like just when I say moods, like, and actually~ my number one symptom, I would say, was extreme irritability, like unexplained irritability where I would lose my temper or my mind for no very good reason at all. And this would happen with [00:22:00] my kids, happen with my husband, would happen with my dad. ~Um,~ and,~ I couldn't,~ I didn't recognize myself, ~like, and I didn't understand what it was, and I, and people, like,~ I would go to my family doctor, or I'd talk to my husband, ~like, when~ I would talk to people ~sort of~ in my inner circle about what was going on, um, I was often, like, are you depressed?

~Like,~ do you have anxiety? And those words just didn't resonate with me. ~It didn't feel like ~

Krista Gruen: That's what your doctor was asking you? Are you depressed? Do you have anxiety?

Christa Hull: Yeah, ~my, well my Well Are you friends? Family? I mean, ~different people in my life, family, friends would ask. And then when I did go sit down with my family doctor, ~um,~ he would have me fill out ~like~ an assessment and then just ~like~ slide a prescription for antidepressants across the table.

~Like,~ basically When I started to explain to people in my close~ sort of ~circle, how I was feeling the words like anxiety and depression would come up like, Oh, is that what it is? And those words just never resonated with me. I was not feeling depressed. And yes, maybe there was some anxiety, but the words that resonated with me were, Extreme irritability and, um, mood [00:23:00] swings that I couldn't explain or put my finger on.

And I know so much more now than I knew then, but I didn't know then what I know now. So I didn't, I didn't make any sense. And, um, to make ~like~ a very long story short, I,~ uh, be ~started to become aware of, ~Um, you know,~ what to expect in midlife and started to hear some things about perimenopause and ~um, you know,~ what that was all about.

And ~I'll,~ I'll give a shout out to my friends from Hysterical, ~um,~ who ~created a really,~ have created ~like~ a really incredible, ~um,~ collection of resources and a community that began to come together to talk about this. ~And so, um, ~

Krista Gruen: ~Hey, we're going to put that in the show notes. ~

Christa Hull: ~Okay. Yeah. Please. ~

Krista Gruen: ~Hysterical. Okay. ~

Christa Hull: ~Hysterical.~

Krista Gruen: ~I want to learn more about that, but don't let me. ~

Christa Hull: ~Um, so much. Incredibly. ~There's a lot of depth and breadth of incredible resources. And ~I, um, ~couple of friends shared podcasts with me. ~Um,~ so I started to get really curious ~about,~ about how my hormones were evolving and, um, The role that that might play.

And then without going into too much detail, I, I also had lost my mom very [00:24:00] suddenly and unexpectedly in 2019. ~Um, no, not 2019. I, Oh yeah. 2019,~ November, 2019. Uh, just a couple of months after my 40th birthday. ~Um,~ And so I was dealing with grief and loss and it was a bit traumatic the way, um, her death went down at~ like~ a family dinner party.

~Um, and so,~ and then a few months after that, I ended up with ~like~ a pretty significant injury. ~Um, I had a couple,~ I herniated a couple of discs in my low and that put me on a two year ~Um,~ track ~of, of living with pain, like~ learning how to live with pain every day. So work was overwhelming. There was a lot going on.

Um, my mom passed unexpectedly. My hormones were going crazy. I had young kids and then I had this~ like low back spinal injury. Um, I shouldn't call it a spinal injury. That's not correct, but a~ disc injury. And, um, and so ~I.~ It was a lot. Like, it was really intense.

Krista Gruen: Yes.

Christa Hull: And continuing on the way that I was, was no longer an option.

Like, the, the pace, that I was living [00:25:00] my life at prior to reaching this ~like~ midlife moment in time. Just it wasn't sustainable and I couldn't, I couldn't keep doing it. So all of these things contributed to~ like~ needing to create a new path forward.

Andrea Rathborne: ~Yeah. Yeah. These were, these were collections. Yeah, if we want to call them catalysts, I mean, there's probably so many other words that we would use to describe these Experiences, but it but they all culminated yet to create Yep A moment whereby you could no longer continue with all of these things and not Um, and again, I'm not saying that you can't just be, you know, so on well.~

So it sounds like you just reached a point where you needed to make some shifts. And so what did you find that that looked like for you? ~What did you,~ what did you start to think about? And tell us a little bit if you can, ~what that looked like,~ some of those things that you may have done. ~or~

Krista Gruen: And the steps to move through that. I mean, you kind of have to sit in it for a minute and then realize that it needs to change~ and then. ~

Christa Hull: I think I sat in it for like the better part of two years, honestly. ~Like, and like~ I learned how to feel my feelings.

Krista Gruen: So it was a conscious choice again to sit in it or was it not?

Christa Hull: Oh, good question. It was, oh, that's such a good question.

Was it conscious? ~Yeah. Thanks.~ I don't know that there was another [00:26:00] way. Yeah, I guess it was conscious. That's such a good question, Krista, because part of me wants to say I didn't have a choice. ~Like ~

Andrea Rathborne: ~I was gonna, yeah, I was wondering. ~

Christa Hull: But I did have a choice because I could have gone back to full time work and numbed out on being busy. But I, yeah, I guess I did make a conscious choice to ~slow like~ slow my life down and give myself the space to ~like ~feel and process and ~like~ avoid typical numbing practices. So my addiction ~was to,~ was being busy and being needed for 20 years. I did really well being needed and busy and like in demand.

~Um,~ And so I guess, yeah, so I made a conscious choice not to seek full time employment, and I gave myself about six months of ~like, okay,~ you're just going to take care of yourself for six months. And that looked like going on a 20 kilometer, ~like,~ bike ride on a Tuesday morning after dropping my kids off at school.[00:27:00]

Or it looked like, oh gosh, I'm like, do people care about this? It looked like going through my drawers, ~like,~ and decluttering my home after years and years and a buildup of ~like ~stuff,~ junk that I'd just been shoving. Like, so I gave myself, you know. I, the time and space to like de clutter and purge my physical space.~

Krista Gruen: ~And this was all just organic. This was all just like, this is what I need to do. Every day you were like, I'm going to do this now and now I'm going to do this. Did you read a book? Or did you listen to something that told you to do these things?~

Christa Hull: ~I remember like a couple of days I would, no, this was organic.~ It was ~like~ slowing down and listening, learning to slow down and listen. To what was needed. And ~I would like, ~there were a couple of days in the summertime that I'd ~like~ drop my kids off at school and I'd go to my favorite beach,~ um, in West Van~ and~ like~ put down a blanket and read a book. ~Like, ~these are things that were never available to me previously.

I caught up with friends. I started taking, ~like,~ meetings, ~um,~ I don't do ~like~ a coffee meeting, well, very rarely, but I would meet up with, um, people who inspired me from my, ~you know, like~ business network and community. And we'd go for walks in the forest or along the seawall or we'd. go for a bike ride ~or go skiing or whatever.~

~Um,~ I just started to learn to slow down, live ~at a,~ at a slower pace. Oh, and I, with [00:28:00] the back injury, I did a lot of taking care of myself through ~like, I discovered~ osteopathy and, ~um,~ acupuncture has served me really, really well in my rehabilitation. I discovered Pilates, ~um,~ and started doing like regular, ~like, um, like~ clinical Pilates to heal my back.

So I, I, I healed my back, um, and it was~ like ~a slow and steady process to doing so. I got therapy and counseling and coaching, ~um, to, to help me. Like, oh, I got,~ I found myself a spiritual teacher, like all to help me navigate patterns that were repeating themselves in my life around my relationship with my parents and my upbringing.

~Like, I gave,~ so I gave myself the gift of some time and space to ~like,~ be. ~I taught myself and I did, yeah, ~there were definitely ~like, um,~ some teachers and leaders that inspired me. Um, shout out to, ~um, Dr. J, ~Dr. Julia Colwell, who is probably the most influential person in teaching me. ~Um,~ The number one rule, which is anyone gets to feel anything they want at any time for any [00:29:00] reason.

Krista Gruen: ~Yes, they do. ~

Christa Hull: ~Including myself. Yeah. Yes.~ Including myself. So she's probably the most influential, ~um,~ person in helping me learn how to feel my feelings and that, like, that it's okay. And to allow it, not only is it okay, it's like absolutely necessary. ~Um,~ so yeah, ~I mean,~ I went on a journey of ~slowing down,~ learning how to slow down, resist the urge to numb, and to heal myself, ~like~ physically and spiritually.

~Where do you want to go from here? ~

Andrea Rathborne: That's, that's uh, wow.

Krista Gruen: You just totally changed your life.

Andrea Rathborne: I'm just digesting everything and ~I'm,~ you know, ~I,~ though we can't see. Our listeners, um, because we're on a call where we can see one another, what I, again, it's so interesting to watch how people respond, including how I also feel that I respond.

Um, and as you're talking, I can see both myself and Krista Gruen nodding, just almost a constant nod.

Krista Gruen: Nodding, nodding, nodding.

Christa Hull: Thank you for nodding. It's very affirming.

Andrea Rathborne: And then a leaning [00:30:00] in and what it tells me is that, um, you know, like we were talking about, it's, and, and you, you actually said something, Christa, that made me, me laugh. Christa Hull, you said, do people even care about this? And both Krista and I were like, yes, we do. Because this is what is so engaging about hearing people's stories is that as you're sharing so, ~you know, so, um,~ generously, ~um, Um, we can, you know,~ we can as just humans, ~you know,~ realize and see how much carries through from just being human.

And so there's already such a cathartic sense that comes from being in conversation and hearing words or hearing descriptions from somebody else ~that,~ that you can say, ~Oh gosh,~ Oh my gosh, I hear that and I, and I recognize that, ~um, you know, that~ feeling ~of,~ of grief, or I am empathetic to that story because, you know, I have ~a,~ [00:31:00] a story ~that feels ~that maybe it has some similarities.

I just Really think that being able to share people's journeys is so impactful. ~Um, and of course, you know, it's,~ it's, it is generous because, ~you know, we, um,~ we're in a world that. You know, has kind of created us to, to behave so quickly and so kind of transactionally in our experiences with others that, um, not only do we perhaps not give up a lot of ourselves anymore because it's just not reaching an audience, but likewise, we perhaps don't give a lot of people time to be able to share their stories and really hear those stories.

~So there's a generosity in, in you taking the time. to tell your story and to walk us through this and a generosity in, you know, um, Krista and myself in giving ourselves to listening full heartedly to, to, to you. And, um, It's symbiotic. We all get to take away such wonderful things. Um, ~

Krista Gruen: ~I think I, if I may,~ I think it's really interesting that, ~you know,~ if you're with a girlfriend or you're thinking about, ~you know, like ~a moment in time when you're consciously going out to meet a friend, how are you? Oh, I'm great. I'm fine. Oh, good. How are you? It tends to. ~Yeah.~ And we have to start this thing right away where we have to highlight the [00:32:00] positive, right? And we have to, you know, my life is not great right now, but I'm going to, I'm going to get through this and I'm going to say that it's fine. And the good ones, the ones that really care about you, the ones that really know you will stop and listen.

But that trajectory that you were on of like, go, go, go, go, like everything was like piling, piling, piling, piling until it literally just. Had to stop. Yep. And yeah, yeah, that happens. I think more than we share.

Christa Hull: Yes

Andrea Rathborne: ~Yeah, ~

Krista Gruen: so thank you

Christa Hull: For sure does yeah Thank you for highlighting that because ~I believe I felt like because~ I looked around at a whole bunch of other ~Like~ powerful women that I've looked up to in my life and didn't see the cracks Um, so I definitely spent a lot of time thinking, ~like, is it just,~ is it just me? Like, am I the only one screaming uncontrollably at my husband for no reason? ~Am I the only one that, like, yeah, just, I mean, a thou, a thousand things, like, feel like I'm, like, have no energy to,~

Krista Gruen: That question of like, what's wrong with me?

Christa Hull: Yeah. What's [00:33:00] wrong with me?

Krista Gruen: This isn't normal. This isn't okay. You know, judging yourself.

Christa Hull: And I will say, ~like, Um,~ being somebody who is very naturally optimistic and positive, that's what my family, friends and community have come to expect from me. And it was very uncomfortable for me to navigate this period of not feeling organically and authentically ~like~ optimistic and positive. I was ~like ~freaking out.

And I thought. Well, people aren't going to want to be around me because they, people come, I know for a fact, people come to me for~ like ~light,

Andrea Rathborne: sunshine,

Christa Hull: energy,

Andrea Rathborne: brightness,

Christa Hull: sunshine. Yeah. And I was not, I didn't have, there was a few years where there was very few flickers of light. And so I was really self conscious about ~like~ who I wanted to like, social media, the inter, like, I just went kind of quiet and dark because I didn't think people would ~like~ value.

Being around me or ~like~ hearing from me in ~those, some of ~those dark days. [00:34:00]

Andrea Rathborne: Because you felt perhaps that you, I think what I heard is that you felt like you, um, would not meet their expectations of who you were meant to be for them, which is really hard. Right?

Christa Hull: Yeah, it was. It was hard. And I, yeah, I did. I worried about that a lot. And now I've shared enough that I know that the sharing resonates. And I've also been, ~um,~ so fortunate to, ~um,~ have had exposure to other women sharing. And so now I know like sharing is the only way, but there is a lot of, um, you know, self consciousness about it.

~Do you have, you know, is there anything that. And that kind of comes to mind as being some of the, the. You know, the hardest, hardest. Some of the things that might come to mind as being the pieces that as you were moving through this shifting in, um, you know, taking time for yourself, feeling the feelings, um, doing things differently than you'd been doing for so many years.~

Andrea Rathborne: Did you find that there were any ~particular~ things that you found particularly hard or you noticed? difficult it was? And what were they?

Christa Hull: No, this is this. I don't know how much I like talking about, but I'm going to because I know somebody out there needs to hear it. I went through ~like~ kind of an [00:35:00] identity crisis.

~Cause I was always known, like what, ~what got me to where I was at the age of 40 was not going to get me to 80 ~and I knew it, but like I, ~so my dad moved away when I was seven shout out Bruce. I love you. I'm actually so clear. ~Um,~ in this moment about, ~um, like the,~ that fact, like my dad moved away when I was seven and I spent my whole life from that moment on,~ like~ trying to be somebody that people would want to be around.

Cause I was devastated that he didn't want it. Like I made it mean that he didn't want to be around me. So that took my ~like~ natural charisma, positivity, and ~like put it on what's a better word than crack.~ Amplified it. ~Amplified it, yeah.~ And that served me really well. Like it got me to some pretty amazing opportunities in my life. [00:36:00] And ~and~ it all had to do with my work. ~Like~ I threw myself into my work and I got really good at what I did. And I became like a really, I think, exceptional leader of people. And exceptional community builder.

~And.~ And people knew me for that and celebrated me for the work that I got to do with some, ~like,~ incredible brands that took me around the world. And with my teams, I got to create some, ~like,~ really amazing things. And when I stopped working and I slowed down, ~I,~ my ego, ~like,~ took a massive hit of,~ like,~ who am I now?

~Like,~ I remember having, yeah, sobbing. conversations with my coaches about this. Like, who am I even if I'm not in charge of this multi million dollar budget or this big team or, um, it was so vulnerable. ~Like,~ the people that I surrounded myself with were relatively like minded, ~like~ really focused on their careers, ~um,~ steadily ~like~ growing and [00:37:00] increasing their impact and contribution. And all of a sudden, ~like,~ What I was choosing to focus on. Oh, another thing I did with my slower lifestyle was I started showing up on the school grounds. And I started like connecting with my kids, friends and teachers and like the school community and volunteering my time. And so it was like a total pendulum swing and it was very, very, very uncomfortable for me to not identify as~ like~ a career driven woman on a daily basis.

And when people would ask me every single day,~ like,~ what are you doing for work? ~And I'm taking,~ I'm. I'm actually not working. ~Like,~ it was so uncomfortable to talk about in the beginning. And so and so's getting a promotion. ~And so, like,~ no, I was not working. I was going for bike rides, going to the beach, hanging out on the school grounds.

And ~it, like, ~now I'm so proud of myself. But in the moment I was embarrassed and [00:38:00] shameful, ~um,~ that,~ like, ~I couldn't identify with. that, I don't know, with titles and influence and power and resources. I'd have big, huge teams executing stuff. So I started, after I took some time off, I started to think~ like,~ okay, how can I create a business for myself?

And I thought ~like,~ well, I love coaching. I've always loved coaching my teams that, ~um,~ I've led over the years. And I've had some exposure to some ~like~ coach training and tools and resources. And, ~um,~ I decided to ~go and like study coaching and~ learn how to be a coach. ~Um,~ and I also started to ~like~ explore opportunities where I could, ~um,~ get into some consulting work.

And so, ~um,~ Yeah. ~Like~ those early stages of~ like~ people asking me, what are you up to in your career? And talking about ~like~ exploring coaching and consulting and,~ um, like~ taking a crack at building a business for myself. ~Um,~ I had a ton of like imposter syndrome around it. I was really afraid. I was so [00:39:00] afraid of working alone.

~Um, like~ I had it that being an entrepreneur meant that I was. I'm going to have to give up ~like~ collaboration and working with teams and come to learn. That's not true at all. I still get to work as a part of, ~um, you know,~ teams in the businesses and brands that I work with and support. And I,~ um, ~still have opportunity to~ like~ do a lot of collaboration, but I was really afraid of, ~um,~ Working alone.

And so I'm sorry, I think I've gone on a bit of a tangent, but your question, well, what was, what was really hard? The hardest thing was like reinventing myself and talking about how, who I am and like what I'm up to in the world without being like so heavily reliant on talking about my career.

Andrea Rathborne: Yeah. ~And that draws back.~

~I, I, I,~ again, I'm nodding. I'm leaning in. Um, I think we all are. ~Um,~ You said something around how you had through your life and then you used numbed. ~Um, yeah. A, a, a lot~ and ~I,~ that [00:40:00] really is a powerful word. Um mm-hmm . And you used it in, ~um,~ connection with, ~um,~ staying so busy. Yeah. That you don't have to think about

Christa Hull: or feel

Andrea Rathborne: or feel anything.

Christa Hull: Mm-hmm . Yeah.

Andrea Rathborne: You don't have to think about who you are. Because you're in it. ~You don't have time to think about who you are. You just are active, you know, actioning. Non stop. ~

~I feel like so much of this is, like, sorry to interrupt. No, no, no, you're good. ~

Krista Gruen: ~I can't help but feel like~ I want to ask you, did guilt come in at all? Because I haven't heard that word at all and I feel like, ~like,~ I don't want to speak for women around the world, but yeah, I do feel that there's a lot of guilt that enters when going through something like this.

Christa Hull: Yeah. The guilt that I had was ~for my,~ how I was showing up for my family, especially in my like hormonal crisis phase. A lot of guilt for how I was ~like~ losing my temper and ~like, you know,~ just not nice to my kids and my husband. Oh, that was so painful. That was one of like, I'm, I'm so much better now. And I, I, you know, hormone [00:41:00] replacement therapy is not for everybody and it has been incredibly supportive for me. And so I'm much more ~like~ balanced ~in my,~ with my moods, but that, yeah, so I felt really guilty about ~Um,~ how I was showing up to the people that I love the most.

And I would say I'm not somebody ~who,~ who~ like~ feels a ton of guilt, but I did feel shame, ~like shame for, like, what is it?~ Shame around, um, yeah, like, I don't know. I was a breadwinner in my family for a long time. I am no longer at this moment. ~Um, and I,~ but ~there's, yeah, like we've, you know,~ making this transition definitely resulted in some impacts to our quality of life, our lifestyle.

Yeah. ~Um,~ cause you don't ~like~ just ~like~ build a business overnight. It takes some time. ~Um, so yeah, I've felt a little bit of like shame and guilt around like my kids bless their hearts. And this is so privileged of me to share, but you know, we would, one of the benefits of working the way that I did for so long as we would every year we would plan and go on like a really awesome family vacation.~

~And my kids are mom, when are we going away? Like, when are we going away? They want to go to like. I don't know, wherever they can dream up, Thailand, like, my son would love to go to Africa and see all the animals and so yeah, there's like a little bit of, um, like guilt. It's like, I know this, but they don't, they like miss, you know, um, regular fancy vacations, but what they don't know to appreciate yet is they have me around and like my presence and my energy and my attention.~

~They bless their hearts. They take it for granted, but I know that it's more important to them than in the grand scheme of things, like to who they're becoming. than the things that I, you know, used to be able to pay for more easily. So yeah, I don't, hopefully that answers your question.~ Definitely some guilt and shame along the way around my~ like ~level of productivity and contribution.

~Um,~ but I'm contributing and productive in different ways that are very rewarding and ~fulfilling,~ fulfilling. ~So I hope one day my kids will see that. ~

Andrea Rathborne: ~Yeah. ~

Christa Hull: ~Yeah. It's a shift. ~

~It's a shift rather than something, something ending it's, it's actually, it's just a transformation, which is kind of what we, you know, we've used that word a lot, um, as it relates to there being these experiences that we have and how it goes from this to this.~

Andrea Rathborne: So it transforms as opposed to something [00:42:00] beginning and ending. ~It's,~ it's this shift. And, ~um, I,~ I was curious if you felt that you recognize,~ uh, you know,~ the fact that you are where you are now in terms of your age, ~do you feel Like, there is a, are you a different, do you feel like you're a different person day to day now in this stage of life, um, with all these experiences that you're, you're, you know, you've, you've kind of experienced and you're, you're working through and they will continue, but do you have a different sense or~ is there a different sense of being a version that is new to the Christa ~you know, of. 10 years ago or, and, and if there is, and I think, you know, you've kind of suggested that there's this, you know, this shift in who you've become, but you describe to me who you believe this, this version of Krista is, or this, this emerged or transformed version is. ~

Christa Hull: ~Yeah, this is again, such a good question.~

~Um, and~ what I'll say is that those words I used to describe myself at the top of the podcast would be very similar to the words I would have used to describe myself in my twenties.

Andrea Rathborne: ~Okay. ~

Christa Hull: So who I am at my core. has not fundamentally shifted.

Andrea Rathborne: ~Yeah. ~

Christa Hull: In fact, I've maybe become more of myself and more of who I am.

Andrea Rathborne: Oh, I love that.

Christa Hull: However, ~however,~ one of my dear friends ~who is also, gosh, I love my friends and my coaches, but one of my dear friends, um,~ helped me realize ~that like,~ cause I had a lot of fear in the past few years about going back. like repeating old patterns ~or learning old lessons,~ right? [00:43:00] Yeah. And she was like, Christa, ~what, like ~you couldn't go back if you tried.

Like I was worried about ~like~ taking on this project or a role and worried that I would go into my old pattern of ~like~ 200 percent all in for ~like~ the vision, the project, the founder ~and,~ and lose myself again in my work. And she was like, Oh, you couldn't go back if you tried. And that was kind of a light switch moment of ~like,~ you're right.

~I couldn't go back if I tried. Like I w~ I would never make the same decisions today that I made then. And so I really want to honor that as~ like~ not becoming someone different, but an evolution.

Andrea Rathborne: Yeah.

Christa Hull: of myself,. Right? ~Like~ And I'm learning to trust myself, ~that like I won't, those, those, those learnings, those patterns, um, they are serving.~

~And um, so I, who, okay, can you say your question again? ~

Andrea Rathborne: Yeah, ~I just, I wonder, and,~ and you've done a beautiful job in guiding us back to the words that you used to describe yourself at the very beginning. And I love that you Recognize that those are at the very core, those feel like those capture who Christa is and will always be. And so those feel like your center. And [00:44:00] I am curious if perhaps there are even other words that you may layer on that suggest who you are in this day as you've moved through all of this work.

Christa Hull: Yeah, I'm evolved. ~Like,~ I am evolving, ~I am evolved,~ and ~I, um, I,~ something that I've learned that I know now that I couldn't un-know is that ~like ~life and growth and development, it's not linear. It's this whole idea of ~like, if X, then Y, like ~work, do, effort, then get the thing. It's not how it works, friends. It's not how it works. ~Life is like,~ spoiler, ~um, it's not,~ our growth is not linear. It is all over the road.

Krista Gruen: And thank goodness, because I think that's what makes it so interesting.

Christa Hull: Yeah. ~And I'm learning what I know now is I don't have to work so hard. It's not about effort. It's about energy. This is the thing. And~ you all are helping me realize this learning, this awareness that I, is new, that I have that I didn't have even two years ago, five years ago. But ~like,~ life is about energy, not effort.

Andrea Rathborne: I love that.

Christa Hull: ~And it's about receiving more than it is about, like, doing or efforting.~

~And so I operate at a much slower pace now. And it's like, that's so funny because I was in a Pilates class the other day and my friend was next to me and she was like, Hey. You, I'm recovering from pneumonia. She's like, take one of those weights off. And so it's so funny because she was like, you're going, you're over efforting.~

~Um, and I'm efforting at a much slower, lighter pace than I ever have. So it's like a constant journey and evolution. Like I'm, I'm ambitious and I want to get like, a lot of value out of my like time and energy and resources. And I'm moving at a much slower pace. Um, and I know that it's not about how hard I work.~

It's about how clear my [00:45:00] vision is, how clear my intention is, and about ~like~ making intentional choices. ~Um,~ And, oh, so, uh, another part of my evolution is that I really like to see and know the path. So if I have~ like ~a goal or a vision, if I have the road map and it's clear, ~I, great, like not,~ nothing can get in my way. But when I don't know the how or see the road map, I get stuck.~ And ~

Andrea Rathborne: ~yeah. Um, yeah. ~

Christa Hull: And that's really challenging for me. And entrepreneurship is like, that's what it like. I don't know. I've never created a business before. I've never launched, ~um,~ an online course before. ~Like~ so many of the things I'm doing today, I've never done before.

And what I'm learning that I didn't like what I know now that I didn't know then is that it's not about having the full roadmap laid out, the full plan. It's about knowing what the one next step is. Doing that and doing it well, and then trusting that the next step is going to reveal itself. [00:46:00] And ~so it's about like starting, and~ for me, it's about starting and then ~like,~ taking a step, taking action, and then trusting that once that's complete, the next step will reveal itself and ~like,~ that could be it. That kind of momentum and taking the pressure off of ~like~ needing the full playbook or roadmap or project plan. ~I don't know.~ I'm just ~doing,~ creating one step at a time, one day at a time right now. And it's, it's fun. I'm having fun again and it's serving me ~and yeah, ~

Krista Gruen: fun is good.

Andrea Rathborne: Fun is definitely good. We need to all always write down fun as part of what we're, what we're up to.

Krista Gruen: It has to be fun. We have to find the fun.

Andrea Rathborne: ~Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. ~You do. ~I really loved all of that.~ And I really,~ um,~ appreciated this sense of, ~um,~ slowing down. And what it reminded me of is how you had described how busy you had always been, ~the 200%.~

~Yeah. Um, but, but what occurred to me is that the slowing down has become, like you've become a version of highly considered. Momentum or activity so that everything that you do counts or you've thought about it. And so that's, I, if that resonates, because that's what I was taking away from what you were saying, I was hearing how much you did in all the years.~

~Um, you know, ~when you were 200 percent and you were doing all the things ~and, and, and, and,~ and ~What,~ what kind of became a little bit of a vision was that as you were describing where you are now, it [00:47:00] feels like you're having as much, if not more of an impact on the things that you're doing, but you're doing them with consideration and more thoughtfully and deliberately and slowly. And isn't that ironic that when we slow down, we can have more perhaps of an impact ~than when we were. ~

Christa Hull: ~You know, I think so. And I'm like, I'm about to find out, like, I think so. Like, is this conversation that is very intentional and conscious, going to create greater impact than, than I thought it would? me, you know, putting my head down and crushing something else that I could be spending my time on.~

~I, I think so, but I don't know because we haven't published it yet. Um, but I, for example, like I, yes, I think so. And I have to say, um, cause you know, life can often be about pendulum swinging. ~

~And so I, my 200 percent was too, too much, too fast. To go on. Yeah. And then I think I slowed down to a point where, and thank you Suzanne for this decision, um, one of my teacher's husband is a pilot and What I learned from her and a brilliant metaphor series of metaphors recently is it's actually dangerous to fly a plane too slow.~

~And that like really resonated because I think in the spirit of like restoring myself, I slowed down so much that like, I was starting to sputter a little bit, like, yeah, fair. You know, like you need a certain amount of like propulsion in order to take flight, right? And so I think I went from 200 percent to like, I don't know, 50 percent and I'm like finding my way back to like, I actually, okay.~

~Like what is the right amount of like pace, conviction, propulsion needed for me to like realize my dreams, like bring my vision to reality. And so I'm like, now that I've. restored myself, and I have my vitality back. I'm starting to pick up the pace a little bit. And I don't know if I'm answering your question, but that no, that's me.~

~That's beautiful as like, yeah, important insight. It's not about slowing down to a stop. It's about,~

~it's about energy, It's about how, how I fuel myself. It's about how I, um, like maintain the highest quality vibration of energy I, I can so that I can, um, contribute and create like meaning and impact. And so, yeah, it's like, it's like where I'm, where I am now is like birthing new things that, um, I'm about to find out what their impact is gonna, like, ~I

~ know what my impact is gonna be in my second scene, but I'm like really excited to find out.~

~I, I think the metaphor of, especially not being a good flyer, the idea or the metaphor of, of not letting a plane get too slow, um, because then we don't have the, we don't have the actual. air pressure under the wings to keep it afloat, right? So, I think that's such an impactful metaphor. Isn't it so good?~

~It's beautiful. It's so good I love it. And I'm a visual person too, so I feel like that. Yeah, you can picture it, right? I can see it, yeah. But what I do love about the metaphor that you used is cause it, cause it's also impactful to recognize, and, and then perhaps give ourselves permission that sometimes we do have to go to that Yeah.~

~To that other swing. Mm hmm. So we perhaps do have to get to that space where we have, um, polarized or become completely swung to the other side to then be able to build back up. Like it's almost a necessity in some cases to be able to go to that extreme to then start to build back up the energy and, and be thoughtful about where we're putting it.~

~Yes. Oh, that's it. Um, and I heard you. Describe that when you did swing to the 50% as you, as you named it Yeah. As you started to then get the energy back because you'd taken care of yourself. Yeah. You were now thoughtful around what that was gonna look like. Yes. Um, and I, that, that to me is so impactful because ~

~when we're in the busyness where we're doing the 200%, we are defined by the busyness.~

~Yeah. Um, everything that we're doing is almost automatic. It's it's, it's just a reaction. It's just an auto default that we're moving through this. We know how to do it. We know how to stay busy. We know how to get the things done, but we're not really thinking about each of the things that we're doing for any length of time.~

~We're just executing, get the done, get it done, move on to the next. And so this idea of creating whatever it looks like to be able to. Take care of ourselves, find that space where we're able to feel and take a look at ourselves for where we are at that moment, and then start to deliberately add in those pieces that we want to bring back feels like such a beautiful approach.~

~It does. ~

~Right? And it's, it's, that's really helpful. Like, I really, like, I think of that and I think, gosh, that is such an, I can, I can picture that. Like Krista Gruen said, you know, visually I can picture that and I can see how it can be little, incremental, things. steps or little additions or talking to somebody or hearing from a coach or doing an activity, um, and then they build and build. And that's what you've just described that has gotten you to where you are now, which is that you have launched and birthed an infant, which is this, or maybe, maybe it's multiple infants. It's in progress. I feel like it's, it's crowning. That's good. Yeah. I've birthed the coaching and consulting business already.~

~Yes, you have. So tell us now about this. Tell us about the birth, tell us about the crowning, ~

Andrea Rathborne: Tell us about what your journey is now looking like.

Christa Hull: ~Well, um,~ so I'm about two and a half years into working for myself, which Gosh, in, in, um, May of 2025, it'll be three years and holy smokes. I can't even say, thank you. Like, thank you because it's the scariest thing I've ever done in my life. For sure it is. And ~I like, I, uh, like~ I'll never get used to ~like,~ or maybe I will, ~but right. I'm not yet used to like,~ the unknown, like not knowing what my next six and 12 months is going to look like in terms of ~like,~ my client, ~like~ my portfolio, ~like~ what are the projects I'm working on? Where is my revenue coming from? ~Like,~ I'm [00:48:00] really in ~like,~ for real. This, ~like,~ focus on the thing that's right in front of me, do that well, and let the next thing reveal itself. And trusting that the next thing is going to continue to reveal itself. And it, and two and a half years later, it does. ~Like, I've been able to build, um,~

~I'm like, what, how do I even describe it? I,~ I've been able to keep myself busy doing the work that I love, ~um,~~ and earning. Like great money ~supporting brands, ~um,~ with their growth, ~like~ with their leadership ~or their,~ and or their community building initiatives. And, ~um,~ it looks a lot different than it used to.

Um, I, and I don't know if I'll ever get ~like ~fully comfortable with not knowing what. The future is going to look like, or ~like~ having ~like~ a guarantee that that paycheck is going to land in my bank account every two weeks. And I'm getting used to ~like ~not having the benefits and the IT department and the finance team and the legal team~ to like, ~

Krista Gruen: Oh my gosh, all the teams.

Christa Hull: ~It's a lot like it's a, it's, you know,~ it's not for the faint of heart, but I've been able to do really meaningful work with some really great clients and brands. ~Um, so I've got, um,~ I have a coaching business where I coach leaders one on one and I have this ~like~ [00:49:00] incredible,~ um, I guess, like~ roster of clients, ~um, uh,~ some startup founders, um, in some really interesting spaces.

And I work with, ~um,~ leaders at different levels ~who are, um, engaged in the corporate world. Um. ~and kind of everything in between. So I'm really fortunate for my coaching practice in business. And then I've been doing consulting, ~um,~ in the areas of, ~uh, you know,~ leadership and community. I'm really passionate about designing experiences.~ Um, like~ for, Brands and businesses. So internal experiences of ~like, you know,~ leadership development, team building, ~um, um,~ strategic planning. So when teams have a need to come together in person to connect a line and set themselves up to go after ~like~ a vision or goals. And I believe so strongly in the depth of ~like~ in person experiences, ~um,~ because of how much they've impacted me.

~Um, and I think that in this like post pandemic, can I say post pandemic? I don't know. Yeah. Landscape where, you know, businesses have moved towards more of a hybrid, uh, model and, um, you know, it's, it's ever changing and evolving, but, um, there's less time generally speaking spent in the office. I think there's like a big opportunity for more in depth experiences for teams to come together in like intimate settings for a few days.~

~in an offsite format to really deepen relationship, get clear on vision and strategy, um, and then develop, like have exposure to some leadership development. Um, so I'm really passionate about designing, producing, um, experiences like that. And I've had the ability to do small, intimate gatherings all the way to like, um, you know, all hands annual leadership conferences.~

~Um,~ So that's some of the work that I love to do. ~Um,~ and then ~my,~ you know, my background really is in, ~um,~ sales marketing, brand marketing, and really my heart is, ~um,~ in [00:50:00] community, ~um,~ community engagement, community marketing. And so recently I've teamed up with a dear friend and former colleague, Michelle Lazar is her name.

She and I met over 10 years ago now at Lululemon and we got to work really closely together there and then we both went on to spend some time in, ~um, you know,~ community, marketing, ~uh, context with Bailey Nelson, the Australian eyewear brand, as they were entering the U. S. market. ~And so I've known and loved Michelle for a long time, ~and, um, I'll give her full credit.~

She came to me ~this spring~ with a vision and an idea. And, you know, I'll be really transparent and say that it was~ born in part from, well, the above the line way of saying it would be like, it was ~informed and inspired by our experience leading brands and helping brands and businesses grow ~in, um, you know, the, in recent history.~

~And, um,~

and seeing patterns and trends and what is really difficult for marketing and brand leaders today to navigate. ~Um, you know, I think the pandemic contributed to a huge rise in the success of direct to consumer brands. Um, as for years, we were at home with limited things that we could spend our time, energy and resources on.~

~And at the same time, the like rise of performance in digital marketing and, um, you know, a lot of brands have seen a lot of success in, um, being able to. basically like pay to convert, um, new customers online. And, um, and the landscape of the marketing world is ever evolving, ever changing, growing more and more complex, I think.~

And,~ um,~ we believe really strongly in, ~you know,~ relationship based and [00:51:00] experiential programming strategy initiatives to help build. Like to drive organic traffic and create long term loyalty for brands. And so we really, you know, I want to nod to our experience at Lululemon where we really learned this, ~um,~ approach of, ~um, you know,~ building a brand, one relationship, one experience at a time.

~Um,~ and ~we did it,~ we learned to do it really, really well with relatively limited resources, honestly, ~like,~ Lululemon got ~to, um,~ very large very quickly with very conservative marketing budgets because of the commitment to these ~like~ grassroots relationship based, ~um, uh, the, the~ approach ~to,~ to community building.

And, ~um,~ so we take inspiration from, ~um, You know, from, um,~ our past and our experiences to apply to the present and we've birthed, ~um,~ a masterclass ~or we're in the process of launching a masterclass~ in community marketing. ~Um, our first offering is going to go live in the new year. Well, we're launching it next week and, um, will be, um, actualized in the new year.~

~Um,~ and it's an online self paced. Masterclass, ~um,~ that [00:52:00] covers six modules of the key pillars of community marketing as we see them. So it starts with the foundations of community marketing and, ~um,~ philosophy and how to create the conditions inside your brand or your business. And then we look at things like,~ um,~ ambassadors and influencers.

Events and activations, brand collaborations, ~um,~ and then ~we brought on, ~we invited a subject matter expert friend of ours, ~um,~ Michalina to come, uh, to help us create a, um, she did not help us. She created it herself, a module that is, ~um,~ specifically dedicated to organic social media and content creation.

For those who don't know, when I say organic, I mean, ~um,~ how to create content. Resonance, ~um,~ and build a social media following without investing ~in,~ in paid, ~um, in paid~ tactics to do so. ~So, um,~ we have a whole module on organic social media and content, and then we have another module on ~like~ what it looks like to execute a hyperlocal [00:53:00] strategy within ~the four, well, in~ a brick and mortar, ~um, concept, so, or ~context, ~I should say.~

So, we've created this comprehensive. Masterclass to help brands and businesses, ~um,~ be able to create and execute a community based marketing strategy. ~Um, it's been so fun. We've been working on it for months, um, and we're getting ready to share it with the world. ~And so, um, I think when I said earlier, I'm having fun again.

It has something to do with, ~um,~ reconnecting to, ~um, You know,~ the work that I love, um, that has been incredibly fulfilling that I know works. And Michelle and I, based on our first hand experience, ~like~ know that this is a moment in time, ~um,~ where there's a gap in the market and we think brands and businesses really need this.

And we think it's going to be really inspiring for marketing leaders everywhere, ~um,~ to reconnect to building brands in this ~like ~really authentic way.

Andrea Rathborne: That's amazing. And you know, what's, I, what I, you know, there's so much to dig into. Uh, ~I would last,~ I would love to be on for at least another hour.~ Um, part two, part two.~

~Um,~ [00:54:00] one of the things that, ~Um, you know,~ we started this conversation today and ~really like we've,~ we've all talked about it so much. And then we now have heard this beautiful description of the offering that you and Michelle with your community have now created. ~. Is.~ Is the teaching of how to build community. And so ~I, you know, it's not lost on me, the, the irony, if you will, it feels like a little kind of like, I don't want to use irony, but~ it is so interesting, ~you know,~ to think about, ~you know,~ all ~that you've shared, um, and~ the stories that you've shared. From, you know,~ you know,~ through your life and through your career, what has been woven in, in its entirety, all the way through, is your community.

So it is ~whether,~ whether it's your coaches.

Christa Hull: Yeah,

Andrea Rathborne: whether it's your family.

Christa Hull: Yeah,

Andrea Rathborne: whether it's your friends. ~Mm hmm, whether it's ~your colleagues ~Whether it's~ new people that you're meeting Mm hmm. You have described ~Mm hmm~ [00:55:00] a lifetime of stories and experiences that have been created by ~One relation. You ~interacting and having relationship with your community.

Christa Hull: Yeah. Wow.

Andrea Rathborne: And I think,~ I think, you know, as we think~ about all the things that we're all doing, um, what we're doing here today, what you and ~your community and~ Michelle, who's part of that community and us who are part of your community now, like what we're all doing, Is building community. Yeah. Um, and that's because that's at the center of allowing people to feel valued.

Christa Hull: Yeah.

Andrea Rathborne: That they're contributing. That they matter. That they're connected.

Christa Hull: Yes.

Andrea Rathborne: That they are making a difference. Mm hmm. That people see them. That people are, ~uh, you know,~ aware [00:56:00] of their story and what they bring. And so, it just feels so incredibly powerful to me and aligned to have heard your story. And that you are doing this work because ~I, You know, I,~ I can think of many people, and I have so many people that I'm so grateful for ~in my community,~ including you, ~who,~ who epitomize community for me, and you are by far one of those that are part of that.

You know, that echelon of, of folks who to me feel like coming home, feel like a place that is a community that's already built and, um, and so welcoming. So I am ~so, um,~ grateful that, ~you know, ~You're doing the work that lights you up and has you now so excited. I can see it. And even when you're talking about it, cause we [00:57:00] can all, when we're talking about things that we love,~ ~~there's like no, we're just like, and~ we can just keep talking and that's what you're able to do through all of this is ~like just, you~ have all the words because it's such a passion project and it's such a passionate part of what you're doing.

~Um,~ But I also, ~you know, I also~ feel like it's really important for us to all, ~um,~ lightly touch on that you where you are, Krista where she is, me where I am, meaning in our mid lives

Christa Hull: Yeah.

Andrea Rathborne: ~We are,~ we are where we are with the things that we're able to do only by virtue of being where we are in our mid lives. And I think One thousand percent.~ Right? Yeah.~ And so I think that for me is also another piece that really, resonates is because there is a narrative that exists, ~um,~ that as women become older, as women hit those milestone ages of their 40s, their 50s, beyond, [00:58:00] that they are Somehow waning, that they are somehow becoming, ~um,~ drained of that brightness, ~drained of that~ energy, ~drained of that, you know,~ ability, ~whatever, you know, you can layer in however we want to say it.~

~I think it's called exhaustion. Exhaustion. Exhaustion. But my, my, my.~ My desire in this work is to, in fact. shift that narrative because. We are all where we are because of the age we are and we're all getting to a place like you're describing where we are Stronger by virtue of where we are in our lives. We are far more experienced. We have Now renewed energy because we know how to take care of ourselves, learning to take care of ourselves much better. We know who we are and what we're good at and also have the humility now to recognize where we're not. Which doesn't occur when we're in, often when we're in our twenties and thirties.

So we are where we [00:59:00] are because of where we've gotten to from an age and from an experience perspective, but we are by no means fading, becoming less than, becoming not as capable or not as, ~you know, ~valuable. It is exactly this kind of story that you've shared that shifts that narrative. And that's what Half Betty ~is,~ is bringing to life.

So thank you, Betty, Betty for the inspiration, but here's the thing, and this is, this feels important for me to share because I'm just getting it all now. Like, I ~a hundred percent,~ a thousand percent agree with everything that you just said. ~And two years ago, I was in like, so what's the metaphor, the butterfly and the chrysalis, like, yes.~

~Right. Um, yeah. ~There has to be dark before there is light.~ Hmm. ~And I really couldn't imagine being on the other side of where, what I was in [01:00:00] two or three years ago, like in the kind of the darkest chapter of my life. ~Like,~ I wasn't sure if I would ever see the light again. ~Um,~ if I would ever have energy again, ~like~ if I'd ever be inspired and having fun or ~like,~ you know, contributing.

~And I'm really,~ so what I'm saying is ~like,~ I'm really inspired by this idea of the caterpillar and I'm going to butcher the scientific part of this, but like the chrysalis I read or heard somewhere that like, The, the caterpillar needs to, ~like,~ do all of the, ~like,~ wiggling ~and~ itself. Like, if you were to come along and help the caterpillar, ~like,~ open up out of its cocoon, it would die.

~It has to do,~ it has to do all of the work, ~like, um,~ to get to this place of metamorphosis and, ~uh,~ and expansion. And that's where I actually feel like ~I'm,~ I'm just breaking through and beginning to spread my wings,~ um, again.~ And I felt like I wasn't sure if I ever would. So I'm quite moved. by what you just described, Andrea, [01:01:00] because, yeah, ~like I,~ this is it.

~Like, couldn't~ I feel as though I'm getting ready to, ~um,~ contribute and create a really positive impact in this next chapter of my life? And I'm just like really aware that ~I'm~ I needed to go through and experience everything that I've experienced in order to ~like~ be here and have the opportunity to ~like~ break out of the cocoon and spread my wings.

And ~um,~ yeah, I hope ~like~ for anybody out there that's listening, that might be going through ~like ~a difficult or a dark time or navigating grief or anything. Um, That, ~like,~ you can trust that it's necessary for your evolution and ultimately transformation. Like it's a necessary part of life. And I'm really excited about what happens next.

And [01:02:00] how hopeful all of that is for everybody.

Christa Hull: Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

Andrea Rathborne: Because it will, you know, I, I love the description.

Christa Hull: Mm hmm. Yeah. Do you like mine?

Andrea Rathborne: And I, the wiggling.

Krista Gruen: I do like the movements too.

Andrea Rathborne: The movements were so perfect. ~You'll be able to watch this on YouTube if you're listening to the audio version.~

~Yeah. Just wait. You gotta watch the YouTube version.~

Christa Hull: I was acting like a caterpillar trying to break out of its cocoon.

Andrea Rathborne: It was, it was actually really perfect. I literally saw a caterpillar emerging.

Krista Gruen: The dancer in me is like really appreciating that.

Andrea Rathborne: You're like interpretive dance. That was so perfect. ~Um, but I, um, I,~ what I appreciate ~of that~ is ~that, um, we're,~ we're all uniquely in our own ~body. ~life story. And so what's going to happen for you is not going to happen exactly for me or for Krista and vice versa, or for all of those out there. But what we can count on is that by virtue of being human and ~by virtue~ of what life shares with humans, we are all going to have experiences that are very, very difficult.

And that in particular, in this [01:03:00] midlife period of time, when there are so many things that are shifting and changing, that it could be. One of those ~metamorphic,~ metamorphic, ~um,~ phases that we all go through and it will happen at some time, but it's not going to happen necessarily at the same time for each of us.

~No. Could be 36 for somebody, could be 53 for somebody, could be 58. We don't know. Trust. ~How hopeful and beautiful is it that we know and we can trust that there's an opportunity for us to have. this emergence into a second scene.

Krista Gruen: Especially when you embrace your community.

Christa Hull: Second scene. Yeah. Thanks for, wow, Andrea, you really, um, listen in a way that I haven't felt like quite so seen and acknowledged, ~uh,~ before. So thank you so much for your, ~like,~ generosity of listening and for ~repeat, like,~ reflecting back, ~um,~ my whole life a few moments ago the way that you did. Wow. [01:04:00] Wow. Yeah. Thank you ~for, really.~

Andrea Rathborne: I'm so grateful. ~Um, I, I literally, if, ~you know, I've been. Talking about how I get goosebumps all the times these days too. That maybe that's hormones. I don't know. I don't think so. I think it's actually this sense of awe, but I have had, and I wish that we could all see it on the screen. Maybe that's not what I see, but right. I have had goosebumps through this entire conversation because of how moving it is and how important it is and how grateful I am ~that it's happening.~

~Um,~ for this conversation and for you, Christa Hull.

Krista Gruen: Thanks for being so open.

Christa Hull: ~And for Krista Gruen. Oh my gosh. ~Can I offer something? And that we just got to be here. Yes. Yes, please. One of my favorite KPIs, because we're thinking, you know, like, what's the return on investment?

Andrea Rathborne: Yeah.

Christa Hull: Community marketing. Um, one of my favorite KPIs is KPI Goosebumps.

Andrea Rathborne: That's brilliant.

Christa Hull: And also KPI Hard Nips. Two [01:05:00] indications. that you're moving in the right direction.

Krista Gruen: What happens if they happen ~the right time~ at the same time?

Christa Hull: Then you're really, really onto something. But it's like, yeah, we can measure it all in metrics and financial reports.

Andrea Rathborne: Oh my, oh my gosh.

Christa Hull: Or we can measure it in goosebumps and hard nips.

Andrea Rathborne: Okay, we're going to just leave this. Why don't we just leave it there?

Christa Hull: ~Because so much.~ You're the best. so much. Thanks for having me. I adore you both.

Andrea Rathborne: Thank you, Krista. Likewise. ~This couldn't have been any better. ~

Christa Hull: Thank you for the opportunity.

Krista Gruen: Thanks.

Andrea Rathborne: Bye, everybody.

Krista Gruen: Bye. Nice. Thank you. You're the best.

Christa Hull: Ah! We did it!

Krista Gruen: Yeah, we did it. You're amazing. Thank you so much for sharing.

Christa Hull: No, you're amazing. Oh, my gosh. Thanks for the opportunity. What a gift. That was really Did Andrea really hang up?

Krista Gruen: She did. She did. She got all excited.